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It was a blur of statistics and impersonal language. As civilians, as observers, we knew them as numbers, not as individuals. When it was announced that we were withdrawing troops from Afghanistan, they were just that: troops. Four hundred and fifty three had died during the thirteen year conflict. 453. Another statistic.

And then the Telegraph decided to create a tribute to the members of the British Forces who died in Afghanistan to mark the end of the Combat Mission on December 31 2014. An appeal went out for staff members from all departments to contact the families, friends and comrades for memories of their loved ones. Im ashamed to admit that it was the first time that I had thought at all about the men and women who had not returned or about the families they had left behind. And I had no idea how moving, inspiring, heart-breaking and powerful a project it would be.

My first call was to Wayne Sparks. His son Georgie, a Royal Marine, was killed on November 27 2008. He was 19. Wayne talked about Georgie winning a swimming competition at the age of five, I remember him getting out of the pool and turning to me. His legs had gone to jelly, he was shaking with exhaustion, and he just looked at me and said: Dad, did I do well? I said, Yes Georgie, you did so well. I was so proud.

Wayne also told me, his voice aching with pain, how Georgie always used to come home on Fridays to spend time with his family. Now, on Fridays, I always find myself thinking Georgie would be on his way home now. I was moved to tears. But, I wondered, what right did I have to cry? Georgie was not my son, my brother, or my friend. And yet...

I spoke to Tony Woodgate. His son Jo was killed on March 26 2010. He was 26. Tony told me that one of Jos friends had described him as a Rockstar in Uniform. That quote is on Jos gravestone.

Tony talked about his home, his job, the fund-raising his wife is doing for Help for Heroes. Then he talked of regret. That his greatest regret was that I didnt actually know him. The friends that he made in the army, all the things that they have all said about him since. Well, he was a bloody hero. And I didnt know it. All I could do was listen. There were no words of comfort I could offer.

Jennifer Loughran-Dicksons husband Robert died on November 18 2009. He was 33. Jennifer told me how they met in their local takeaway, how when their son was young they would go on spur of the moment road trips, which would always end up by a burger van.

Then her voice turned raw: Since he died, it has been horrible. Every time it comes to Remembrance Sunday, its like living through it all over again. Every time it comes and you lay a wreath, the grief comes all over again.

We will never be able to replace what these families have lost, but we hope that our memorial is a place where some of these memories, tributes and tales can live on. More than anything, we hope that the Telegraphs tribute shows that those who died in Afghanistan are not just troops. They are Georgie, Jo, Robert, Olaf, Sarah, Damian, Ben. They are individuals, who were - and still are - loved.

September 11 2001 is a day we will all remember. But each of the families affected have their own day when their world came crashing down. When a man in a uniform arrived at their door and took off his hat.

Read more from the original source:
Afghanistan 2001-2014: Creating The Telegraph's tribute