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Dear Carolyn: Father is elderly and in poor health. Has been verbally abusive to me my entire life as well as a control freak. After getting into yet another argument on the phone, were not speaking.

Im getting married and seriously not feeling him at my wedding since he will inevitably turn it into his day; he has a perverse need for attention that has disrupted many major milestones and events in my family, including my mothers funeral.

Carolyn Hax

Carolyn Hax started her advice column in 1997 as a weekly feature for The Washington Post, accompanied by the work of relationship cartoonist Nick Galifianakis. She is the author of Tell Me About It (Miramax, 2001), and the host a live online discussion on Fridays at noon.

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Am I being too rigid about this? Hes so negative about everything I do, I cant take it anymore especially on my wedding day. Dilemma

Then dont.

I wont give you any lines about your day or you deserve the wedding of your dreams or etc., because I just ate. Plus, a wedding-based sense of entitlement only distracts from what matters and opens you to regrets down the road.

What matters is what you need to satisfy this goal: Take care of yourself.

One of the most crucial roles a parent plays is of protector yet children of abusers need protection from parents. All these kids, to some degree, are forced to protect themselves.

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Carolyn Hax: Abusive dad at wedding; night-life temptation; charity e-mails

"Just a few pints down the local." Not that long ago a stag night was just that – your friends buying a few rounds before the big day. Then some adventurous souls decided to make a weekend of it, to Dublin or Amsterdam, and then, as communism collapsed and Michael O'Leary rose, to Prague and Krakow. As far back the 5th century BC Spartans toasted comrades who were about to be wed. Now it's estimated that 80 per cent of those tying the knot have a pre-wedding celebration: stag and hen dos of course – and now "hag" weekends for those who don't want to exclude friends of the opposite sex.

The active option

If you'd rather not be stuck in a pub, the Preseli Venture Eco Lodge (01348 837709; preseliventure.co.uk) in Pembrokeshire can arrange a weekend of coasteering, sea kayaking, hiking and surfing for groups of four to 40. The price of £229 for two nights' accommodation includes meals but not alcohol.

More into yoga than pink cowgirl hats? Canopy and Stars (01275 395 447; canopyandstars.co.uk) has a "Babes in the Woods" champagne camping weekend in Devon for 10-20 hens. A one-night all-inclusive package (except alcohol) costs from £195 per person.

Cheap and cheerful

For a quiet getaway, the Craigellachie hotel in Speyside (0844 414 6526; oxfordhotelsandinns.com) has a two-night, whisky-tasting break. Settle in with a few drams in the Quaich bar with its 750 single malts. The next morning there's clay-pigeon shooting and quad biking before you visit a range of distilleries. The two-night dinner, bed and breakfast package costs from £190pp. If the Only Way is Essex, Red Seven Leisure (0800 970 2744; redsevenleisure.co.uk) offers two nights' room only in Brentwood. The price of £157pp also includes a spray-tan and entry to Sugar Hut and Faces, from the TV series.

Vegas, baby

Las Vegas is perhaps the only place where you could successfully have a stag or hen do, wedding and honeymoon all in the same week, with a divorce thrown in for good measure. However, there's more to Sin City than putting it all on red. The Grand Canyon is within driving distance, there is fantastic food on offer and flirting by the pool is always free. Travel City Direct (0844 557 6965; travelcitydirect.com) offers a week room only at the Riviera hotel with Virgin Atlantic flights from Gatwick for £699 per person; groups of 10 or more get nightclub passes.

Lie back and think of England

Who says pampering just has to be for the girls? Well-behaved stags could enjoy a 75-minute bubbling mud and hot stone treatment at the Feversham Arms hotel (01439 772930; fevershamarmshotel.com) in Helmsley, North Yorkshire for £110. If, on the other hand, you're a woman who wants nothing more than to lounge around in a dressing gown all weekend, breaking a sweat only for an intense pedicure and a post-lunch poach in the hot tub, Champneys Tring (0843 316 2222; champneys.com) in Hertfordshire has half-board rates from £169 per person with treatments from £30.

The cultured option

Try a champagne weekend in Reims, where Grape Escapes (0845 643 0860; grapeescapes. net) has a two-night B&B break at the Hotel de la Paix for £489pp. Also included are Eurostar tickets and transfers, tastings at Moët & Chandon and elsewhere, a three-course dinner, spa visit and the chance to buy fizz and even have labels personalised.

Gentlemen can whip their culinary repertoire into shape at Lucy Cooks (01539 822 507; lucycooks.co.uk) in Cumbria. Courses for stags start at £35; there's even a brewery next door, which offers tours.

Budget-airline destinations

First stop for anyone considering a stag event in Eastern Europe should be the travel guide inyourpocket.com. It gives the low-down on cities from Druskininkai to Veliky Novgorod. Belgrade in Serbia (tob.rs) is a top pick. Wizzair (0906 959 0002; wizzair.com) flies there from Luton. Or consider Wroclaw in Poland (wroclaw-life.com). It's Krakow minus the crowds; Ryanair (0871 246 0000; ryanair.com) flies there from Stansted, or Wizzair from Luton and Doncaster. Ladies could hop on Ryanair, easyJet (0843 104 5000; easyjet.com) or Monarch (0871 9405 040; monarch.co.uk) for a weekend in Ibiza.

Who said that?

"Let's have a bachelor party with chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze!" – From the 1984 film Bachelor Party starring Tom Hanks

"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished." – Zsa Zsa Gabor

"Marriage is a gamble, let's be honest." – Yoko Ono

Stay local

In Newcastle you can learn how to handle six-wheel-drive cranes. One of your tasks is to lift the groom-to-be 20ft, rotate the crane and then make him abseil to the ground. Stagweb (0845 130 5225; stagweb.co.uk) offers the option from £115 per person in a group of 12, including B&B accommodation and nightclub entrance. More than 120 hotels and 30 guesthouses welcome stag and hen parties in Blackpool (01253 478222; visitblackpool.com).

Life drawing classes are available from Hen Heaven (01273 225 075; henheaven.co.uk) in several cities including Leeds, Bournemouth, Nottingham or Norwich from £29 per person.

If you want a base for a party in Edinburgh, take over an entire hostel. Haggis Hostel (0131 557 0036; haggishostels.co.uk) is near Princes Street and accommodates up to 34 people for £25 per person.

Get a group of friends together in Cardiff to design your own bespoke perfume. GoHen (0845 130 5225; gohen.co.uk) can fix it from £135 per person if there are 12 of you. The price includes accommodation at the Radisson Blu hotel and nightclub entrance.

Insider information

"If you have an accident on your stag do after 10 pints of lager, you should expect that your insurance claim will be refused. Some good advice: stay away from balconies and swimming pools at night, and leave your phone and wallet locked away." – Greg Lawson, Head of Retail, Columbus Direct Insurance

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Stags and Hens go large

The Faders are hot property Source: The Daily Telegraph

THEY'RE sexy, sassy, fun and know their music.

Female DJs are hot music property and the latest act making noise is Sydney's The Faders, joining the ranks of Havana Brown, Anna Lunoe and The Nervo Twins.

"Being a female DJ is definitely a point of difference and makes it more exciting to watch," says The Faders' Milly Gattegno.

"People either love you or they hate you. We've never claimed to be the best technical DJs in the world, but we do it because we love music and we have fun, and I think that shows when we perform."

The Faders - Gattegno and her musical partner Suhana Lye - have built up a strong fanbase with their take on hip hop, R&B and party beats.

Over the past three years, they've played small to large venues across Sydney and toured the country with festivals.

They're also rumoured to be close to signing a lucrative deal with Universal Music, which would make them labelmates with Havana Brown.

"We completely fell into this," said Gattegno, who met Lye when the pair worked at MTV Australia.

"A friend was putting on a night for people in the industry and we did that, and from that night a whole bunch of gigs starting coming through.

"We never had a lesson and just taught ourselves on the spot."

Gattegno says the pair look up to indie DJ favourite Anna Lunoe and Melbourne-based DJ M.A.F.I.A, along with Brown, who has taken on the pop charts over the past year since the release of her debut single We Run The Night peaked at No.5 on the ARIA Singles Chart and follow-up track Get It was a big radio hit.

She's now gaining traction in America, with her music on high rotation on commercial stations across the US, including the country's biggest radio station Z100 in New York. "I rock up to a gig in my high heels and mini-skirt; I am very girlie," Brown told Insider last year, saying her music speaks for itself.

"But I love music and I know what I am doing: people see that when I play."

Former Aussie model sister duo Mim and Liv Nervo have also made their mark on the international music scene.

They tour the world constantly and are regulars in dance music mecca Ibiza as well as Las Vegas.

Their biggest break came when American pop star Kelly Rowland teamed up with David Guetta on their track When Love Takes Over.

They're now in hot demand - working with Ke$ha, Britney Spears and Kylie Minogue and have just agreed to do a project with Groove Armada, although they admit they nearly gave up music before smashing the charts with When Love Takes Over.

"We were living above a video store and cramming as many people as we could into this two-bedroom flat to keep the rent down," Liv tells Insider of surviving in London before the hit, which won Guetta a Grammy Award.

Being a female DJ has its benefits, says Live.

"I don't think there are many girls doing what we do," she says.

"We have been lucky enough to work with people who have really launched careers, like Ke$ha.

"We have been involved in the crossover aspect.

"Our parents say, 'Do you really do this for a job - is this really a job? Are you making enough money now?"'

Mim adds: "We tell them: 'Mum and Dad, we're finally off the breadline.' We love every five-star hotel we stay in. We used to slum it and save our pennies to get the buses out to the airports and stayed in really crappy, crappy hotels.

"But every day we are pinching ourselves and it means we are on a constant high."

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Female DJs sexy, sassy, fun heats up

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Ibiza Corso Hotel and Spa - Ibiza - Video

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