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Dear Amy: I've been with my partner for two years -- he is 15 years older.

We don't want kids together for the foreseeable future.

I hate using birth control. I hate what it does to my body/hormones, despite the fact that it protects me from unwanted pregnancy (which I am grateful for).

I've asked my boyfriend if he could store his sperm at a sperm bank and get a vasectomy so that I can go off of birth control.

He comes up with excuses as to why he shouldn't, such as: "It'll change me as a man" and, "I need to do more research." I certainly understand needing to do more research -- who wouldn't! However, it's been almost a year since I originally brought this idea up to him.

The idea behind this decision is: If we decide to have kids later on (I'm still in my 20s), I'll still be able to try and conceive with the sperm that we've stored.

I resent that I'm forced to continue to use birth control, despite the fact that neither of us wants children, just because "he doesn't want to." I also resent the fact that a man's only forms of "birth control" are abstinence and condoms.

If we were the same age, I would probably just get sterilized myself. But again, I'm in my 20s and I don't see this as the best option at the moment.

He's in his 40s and has yet to conceive children.

I feel like I'm forced to suffer just because my partner doesn't understand my point of view and isn't viewing this situation in the most ethical, economical sense.

What should I do?

-- Not Planning on Pregnancy

Dear Planning: Underlying this birth control challenge might be questions about your relationship, as well as perhaps unexpressed feelings (on his part) surrounding the idea of possibly never having children.

A vasectomy is a surgical procedure that, while low risk (and surgically reversible in some cases), is considered permanent. In order for your boyfriend to participate in your plan, he would "donate" and store sperm, and then also have this surgery. Either of these things might cause anxiety in some men -- the idea of having both of these experiences might be paralyzing for him. His: "It will change me as a man" is a nonstarter -- but is indicative of how reluctant he is to make this commitment. He should communicate with other men who have had this procedure, to see what it is like!

You should both do additional research with medical sources (I am not one), and you should do this together -- and share and discuss your findings. Together.

Otherwise, you should investigate using an over-the-counter spermicide along with him using a condom. Every single time. This more-or-less balances the responsibility for birth control between the two of you.

Your other option is abstinence. You might force the conversation by exercising this 100 percent effective form of birth control until you two have come to a mutual decision that works for both.

Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while now -- long distance.

Things were going well, then he started not returning my calls or texts, and flat-out ignoring me.

Before we got together, he posted on his social media that he deals with anxiety and depression. We are in a long-distance relationship, so I can't go to him in person.

Why is he ignoring me, if he said the day before that he loves me so much and values me?

I am genuinely confused.

-- Confused

Dear Confused: During this very anxious national moment, a lot of people are seeing their anxiety and depression spike. It is possible that your boyfriend is pulling away from you because he is pulling away from everyone. Unfortunately, you cannot force him to the phone if he is dodging you.

For the next few weeks, be extremely gentle and understanding. Ask him if he is OK, tell him that you are always available to talk, but do not push too hard.

One resource for people in crisis is Crisis Text Line. Simply text 741-741 and a crisis counselor will quickly connect with you.

Dear Amy: I was somewhat taken aback that "Lea, in Santa Cruz, CA," refers to her adult children living at home as "tenants." What's with that?

-- I'm a Mom, not a Landlord

Dear Mom: Well, the law considers adult children living at home with their folks as "tenants," also. Parents quickly learn this when trying to "evict" them.

(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

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Ask Amy: Woman wants partner to go under the knife - masslive.com

MALAYSIA as a nation has completed four weeks of the Movement Control Order (MCO) and semi lockdown period.

And there is a strong suspicion that we are going to continue with imposing stricter measures to combat the spread of the virus that seems to be besieging the whole world at the moment.

The hardest hit in our communities are the underprivileged, the poor, the disenfranchised, the refugees, the physically disabled, and of course our four-pawed friends.

Ask yourself what you can do in a small way, to alleviate the troubles of the people around you!

In my case, I have used my food and beverage business, The Fire Grill restaurant to start a drive to raise funds from friends and family, colleagues and clients, as well as my followers on social media, to help provide meals for the people who need it most.

Over a period of 10 short days, with the generous contributions of my kind friends, my team and I have raised over RM30,000.00 to provide 4,400 meals to the underprivileged and to our frontline heroes.

I know that this is just a tiny fraction of what is needed in our country at the moment. But we plough ahead, because most of all, our efforts show my team and I that we must, and can, focus only on solutions and not the problems.

Even at work, with all the uncertainties everyone is facing, it becomes significant for you to just focus on the solutions ahead, as opposed to thinking constantly about all your difficulties.

The world is bracing for the seemingly inevitable rapid increase in the Covid-19 pandemic.

In some ways, many parts of the world have already been overcome by paralysis, and fear has isolated millions of people.

Businesses and your organisations cannot delude yourselves by saying that you will not be affected by this. We are all affected, but we are all in this together.

These are some things that I feel you should concentrate on as you think about the potential solutions at this time of dire need for you, your family and your career.

Everyone has to remember, whether you are a leader, employee or even as a self-employed person, that communication is paramount. Learn quickly to communicate with clarity and empathy.

Employees, clients, and your consumers need to know that you have their best interests at heart.

In this crisis situation, although a solution has not been found yet, the people who depend on you must know who they can communicate with. If you are a leader, dont wait until you have all the relevant information at hand, before communicating in a crisis.

Even if you start by identifying the underlying difficulties that you and your organisation may have to face in the near future, your people will feel that at least they have a boss who is capable of addressing what everyone is thinking.

This emergency isn't your fault as the leader, so you do not have to take any blame. But recognise that it will cause some harm or inconvenience to the people who work within your teams. So, talking openly with your team is the way forward.

The next thing I recommend that you do, is to concentrate on developing a resolution to solve the problem. The people who work with you need to know that you are making an ongoing effort to rectify their problems, and you are handling their fears.

If you show that your company is determined to help your team as much as possible, it will offer some semblance of hope to employees, and even stakeholders.

You have to communicate in a manner that induces confidence, and shows that you are competent to handle the crisis. But most importantly, you will have to be completely honest about what you are facing.

As you communicate with sincerity, you will demonstrate your ability as a good leader.

Perhaps the most critical thing to develop during this period is a growth mindset, or what is termed, an entrepreneurial mindset.

This simply means that you accept that you are in control of your own ability and you recognise that you can learn, and improve under any circumstances.

Many people who start businesses end up failing because they don't have this mindset.

It is only the people who have this type of steadfastness who can manage the robustness of a new enterprise. And it is having this robust mindset that will help you find solutions, fix problems, and prevent them from recurring again.

This way you are able to handle any crisis that besets you right now.

Develop the confidence, and build your competency up, through the belief that you have the capacity to ride through the difficulties.

The single most important thing you can do right now, is to quickly learn to identify the people who are toxic in your life, and at work. The chances are extremely high that when calamity strikes, toxicity also increases.

These people may even be friends, or family members. Don't let them confuse you. Stay focused and be single minded in your recovery.

Remember, we are all in this together.

Shankar R. Santhiram is managing consultant and executive leadership coach at EQTD Consulting. He is also the author of the national bestseller So, You Want To Get Promoted?

The views expressed in this article are the authors own and do not necessarily reflect those of the New Straits Times

Originally posted here:
Work Matters! What will save you now? - New Straits Times

I APPLAUD the authorities for taking the necessary action to enforce the movement control order (MCO). At the same time, I am emotionally disturbed by how the order is implemented, especially on those who violate it.

I cannot understand why the MCO violators are handcuffed in chains and dragged to court. My children have asked me this question, but I am not a lawyer and cannot give them the right answer.

The MCO violators are portrayed as terrorists, murderers or hardcore thieves. Does the law say they have to be handcuffed? They are not a threat and there is no possibility of them escaping.

Do not embarrass them for cheap publicity to get peoples attention. They do not deserve such treatment. They have families and some could be employees.

The young men who were playing soccer in the compound of their reputable institution were chained and hauled to court like they were terrorists and their pictures were splashed in the media.

The embarrassment this young men suffered will never be erased from their memory.

Yes, those who violate the MCO must be reprimanded, but this must be done without treating them like hardened criminals.

CONCERNED CITIZEN , Kajang

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Disturbed by harsh treatment of MCO violators - The Star Online

You'll get used to the grille of the Genesis G90. That's our prediction in this, the era of Peak Grille, when the looming prospect of homogeneous, bullet-prowed EVs seems to have precipitated a run on egg crates and mesh. Everywhere you look, grilles are engulfing whole front ends, threatening to run up the hood and swallow the fenders, and the first look is always shocking. But the more of these megalodon maws you see, the less off-putting each one becomes. To get noticed now, you need to roll with a crest grille. That's what Genesis calls the sprawling five-sided hunk of latticework affixed to the front end of the updated 2020 G90. If this pentagon were any bigger, five-star generals would show up for work at it.

HIGHS: Punchy power from the standard twin-turbo V-6, cushy ride, lots of presence for the price.

With former Bentley design chief Luc Donckerwolke in charge of styling at Genesis (and, indeed, the whole Hyundai group), the G90 is no cautious, vaguely handsome pastiche of Euro styling cues. It's brash, actually. This is an unusually ambitious mid-cycle refresh, to the point that the only carryover exterior panels are the doors and roof. Check out those wheels, looking like they were machined from a solid chunk of attitudinum. They're actually functional, tooyou know, beyond being round and holding a tire in place. The face of each wheel is friction-welded to the ring (the barrel part of the wheel), creating a circular resonance chamber between the two weld faces. That chamber includes holes that empty into the tire volume, helping to cancel tire noise in the 190- to 220-hertz range. As a bonus, the two-piece construction saves seven pounds per wheel. This is one case where you might actually let the dealer sell you those wheel locks.

Michael SimariCar and Driver

Park the big Genesis next to a Hyundai Equus, as we happened to do in a grocery store lot, and it's hard to believe that the G90 is the Equus's immediate successor. It seems like the two models should have at least a decade and half between them, but the Equus was displaced by the G90 only in 2017. Not everybody's going to find the G90 handsome, but its confident extroversion seems to provoke a begrudging admiration even in those who find the wheels or the grille a bit too up-and-coming strongman for their taste.

Inside, the updates are more subtle. There's a new 12.3-inch touchscreen and compatibility with Apple CarPlay and Android Auto. Maps and software can now get over-the-air updates. And the driver-assist systems have learned some new tricks, such as lane-following assist (lane centering, really), which does a good job avoiding the ping-pong sensation of some other lane-keeping systems. Safe-exit assist warns you when an object is approaching an opening door, which makes us think somebody at Genesis rides a bike in the city.

Michael SimariCar and Driver

LOWS: Interior is looking dated, fun-police chassis tuning, polarizing front end.

If the exterior is provocative, the interior is serene. It offers all the tactile accoutrements you'd expectnappa leather, open-pore wood, real chrome plating on the switchesbut it doesn't evidence the ambition of the latest Mercedes-Benz interiors (see: heated armrests, augmented-reality navigation). And maybe that's okay. There's an audience for simplicity that prefers knobs and buttons over touchpads and gesture-control screens. The G90's rear-seat passengers have it really good, with the ability to commandeer both the media system and the climate controls. The front passenger seat even has fore and aft buttons facing rearward, so that the right rear passenger can scoot the front seat forward. The G90 is well equipped to test the power dynamics within your family.

Powertrains go unchanged for the 2020 model year, including a standard 365-hp turbocharged 3.3-liter V-6 and a 420-hp 5.0-liter V-8 as a $3500 option. An eight-speed automatic transmission continues to back up either engine. The hushed, torque-rich V-6 is so well suited to the G90's easygoing demeanor that it seems like a no-brainer to trade two cylinders for two turbos here.

Michael SimariCar and Driver

Need more arguments for the V-6? In our testing, our rear-wheel-drive, V-6powered test car's 5.0-second run to 60 mph makes it essentially just as fleet as the quickest V-8 model that we've had at the test track. It also earns a better EPA fuel economy rating: 20 mpg combined versus 19 mpg for a rear-drive G90 with the 5.0-liter. Subtract 1 mpg from the V-8's estimate with all-wheel drive. And did we mention the V-6 costs $3500 less? The 2020 G90 starts at $73,195, a figure that's about $20K less than a Mercedes S-class, and you may as well maintain that delta because this is a sedan that doesn't feel like it needs any additional options. Genesis must feel the same way, because aside from the no-cost paint and interior colors, the options list is blank.

Michael SimariCar and Driver

With either engine, the G90 is quick but not playful. The stability control system, even when deactivated, lurks in the background, ready to quash any tail-out hijinks. Hey, whose kidor grandkidgot the keys? The ride is floaty or floatier, depending on the drive mode you've selected. You won't be excited. But more important, you won't be annoyed, except maybe by the pattern of the low-beam headlights, which form a triangle of darkness dead ahead. It's like Eddie Munster's hairline riding at 12 o'clock. Once you notice it, you can't un-notice it.

Which goes for the G90 on the whole, but in a positive way. Mid-cycle refreshes don't usually strive for much, but Genesis didn't wait for a full redesign to give the G90 a fresh set of duds. Yeah, that grille might cause double takes for a while. That's the point.

Specifications

2020 Genesis G90 Premium RWD

VEHICLE TYPEfront-engine, rear-wheel-drive, 5-passenger, 4-door sedan

PRICE AS TESTED$73,195 (base price: $73,195)

ENGINE TYPEtwin-turbocharged and intercooled 24-valve V-6, aluminum block and heads, direct fuel injectionDisplacement204 in3, 3342 cm3Power365 hp @ 6000 rpmTorque376 lb-ft @ 1300 rpm

TRANSMISSION8-speed automatic

CHASSISSuspension (F/R): multilink/multilinkBrakes (F/R): 14.2-in vented disc/13.4-in vented discTires: Continental ContiProContact, F: 245/45R-19 98W M+S R: 275/40R-19 101W M+S

DIMENSIONSWheelbase: 124.4 inLength: 204.9 inWidth: 75.4 inHeight: 58.9 inPassenger volume: 113 ft3Trunk volume: 16 ft3Curb weight: 4718 lb

C/D TEST RESULTSRollout, 1 ft: 0.3 sec60 mph: 5.0 sec100 mph: 12.4 sec130 mph: 22.4 secRolling start, 560 mph: 5.6 secTop gear, 3050 mph: 2.7 secTop gear, 5070 mph: 3.7 sec-mile: 13.5 sec @ 104 mphTop speed (governor limited): 146 mphBraking, 700 mph: 176 ftRoadholding, 300-ft-dia skidpad: 0.86 g

C/D FUEL ECONOMYObserved: 14 mpg75-mph highway driving: 24 mpgHighway range: 520 miles

EPA FUEL ECONOMYCombined/city/highway: 20/17/25 mpg

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Tested: 2020 Genesis G90 Would Like Your Attention - Car and Driver

Hobby Lobby has reportedly begun closing stores, and slashing employee salaries following remarks from its CEO that "God is in control" during the coronavirus pandemic and social media has some thoughts about the situation. The news first reported by The Frontier, who spoke with employees of the company after they were notified of the situation.

In a letter to the terminated employees, the vice president of the companys art and creative division, Darsee Lett wrote, "It is with a tremendously broken heart that Ive been forced to take these unimaginable actions, and I genuinely hope you know that my prayers are with you and your family." Lett added, "It has been such an honor having you on my Team. I truly and deeply appreciate your service to this Department and the Company, and with you the very best as this calamity hopefully ends in the very near future." The layoffs and store closures come after Hobby Lobby CEO David Green issued a memo to employees, stating that while he does not know what the future holds for the business, everyone will have to "tighten" their belts. He also stated that "God is in control" of the situation.

The news has not been met well by social media users, with many taking to Twitter to express their frustration on the matter. Scroll down to read reactions.

Originally posted here:
Hobby Lobby Closes Stores, Slashes Salaries Following 'God Is in Control' Remarks and Social Media Has Thoughts - PopCulture.com