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Could Mike Pence Be the Next President? How Gerald Ford Picked up the Pieces After Nixon – Newsweek

Newsweek published this story under the headline of FORD AS MR. RIGHT on August 11, 1975. In honor of the 43rd anniversary this week of Gerald Ford becoming president of the U.S., Newsweek is republishing the story.

He was a man of the Congress, a heartland commoner whose ambitions never ran higher than speaker of the house, and for a long while his old chums simply assumed his discomfort in his new station. But one of them, House Minority Leader John Rhodes, saw him on business recently and asked in sudden wonderment: "You really love the damn job, don't you?"

"Yes," said the president of the United States, "I do."

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He does. Hardlya year ago Gerald Ford was, by the eyewitness testimony of his own son Jack, a slowed-down case - a man who had run out his string in Congress and had a accepted the vice presidency as a graceful way into retirement. Even in the euphoria over this swearing-in, nobody thought of him as much more than a caretaker between Richard Nixon and some Democratic Mr. Right.But Ford has come now to the eve of the first anniversary of his accidental presidency, with a calm and a competence that have surprised everybody except himself. He has made this languid season the summer of Jerry Ford - and whether or not it last, he is, as one unadmiring political scientist put it, "the right guy in the right place at the right time."

His second honeymoon is part luck, part skill and part a palpable national nostalgia for the politics of normalcy. It seems not to trouble Ford's countrymen that his style is bland, his program largely negative, his relationship with Congress increasingly contentious. His polls, though fading, are fat - particularly when he is matched against any known Republican or Democratic challenger. His press in aglow with accounts of his confidence and his command of the job. His opposition is in a fret over his popularity and its own disarray. His people are almost eerily serene in the face of recession inflation and a dicey peace; it is a measure of their content, and America's mood, that they can solemnly compare Jerry Ford to Calvin Coolidge - and mean it as a compliment.

His current high is, as all but the most committed Fordomanes understand, a fragile condition. One Republican field worker, fresh back from a cross-country tour, reported the president's standing "positive - and skin deep." It rests partly on the recovery of the Mayaguez from Cambodia, partly on Ford's mastery of a muddled Democratic Congress in a series of veto fights. But the afterglow of Mayaguez is already dimming in the polls. The vetoes have put Capitol Hill in a garrison mood; in the past fortnight alone, Congress has shot down Ford's latest plan to decontrol oil prices, locked in the embargo on arms for Turkey and steamrollered through a $2 billion health bill without Ford's signature. The economy is still sickly, the world still uncertain, the president still likable but uninspiring to a fault.

Yet Ford and his people are gambling that he can prevail over all of it - and at least of this season, he has. They concede that he is a plain man; they argue that its is enough for this time that, as one old friend put it, he comes across to America as "a very nice person" - and that he is not Richard Nixon. They grant that the economy is rocky; Ford, in an interview with Newsweek, countered only that it is getting better, and that he will get by politically if inflation and unemployment are trending downward next Election Day. They agree that he has put a freeze on bold new programs; they argue that the economy required it, and besides, in the words of one senior staffer, "new and bold can also be crappy." And they affirm that Ford is not only on top of his job but happy in it. "He's really at home with himself," says Jack Ford, an engagingly fresh young man who has come home from Forestry school to work in his father's campaign. "This has recharged him as a man."

PLAIN OLD JERRY

The temperature hovered at 90, the humidity was stifling, and the long queue of tourists stood wilting through waits of an hour and more for a conducted dash through the public rooms of the White House. Ford had seen them and fretted for their comfort - and suddenly, on less than five minutes notice to his bodyguards, he popped outside to greet them. He started at the head of the line, chatting and shaking hands. His shirt quickly soaked through. Great drops of perspiration beaded on his face and dripped from his nose, making blot marks on his tie. But he stuck it out for 45 minutes to the end of the queue - by then 3,000 tourists long.

A year in the Imperium has not spoiled him. His ankle socks droop. He butchers polysyllabic words. He still says "judge-a-ment" - by now, one old Ford hand believes, out of good-natured perversity. He calls visitors "sir." He looks uncomfortable when he walks into a room and everybody stands up. The help brings him his English muffins now, but he himself got up at 3:30 one recent morning to take the First Dog, Liberty, out for a necessary walk on the South Lawn. He is not nearly so comfortable with his title as with his work - not, at least, in the company of old friends. One of them, William Whyte, U.S. Steel's chief lobbyist, phoned him early on and started out, "Mr. president -"

"Is this Mr. Whyte?" answered Ford.

"It'sBillWhyte," said Whyte.

"Well, it'sJerryFord," said Ford.

All of this adds up to what might be called the DHB Factor - the quality of unabashed ordinariness that requires even Ford's sourest critics to start out with the concession that he is a Decent Human Being. He is, and both he and his handlers recognize DHB as his most precious political asset. It is, for one thing, what separates him and his Administration from the Nixon past; Ford, in his conversation with Newsweek, placed the restoration of trust in government No. 1 on his list of achievements in his first year. It is, for another, a kind of campaign promise - a pledge of candor and common decency at the top - and Ford's people have already begun test-marketing it for 1976. "The Democrats can conceivably nominate someoneashonest and straightforward as the president," staff counselor Robert T. Hartmann says comfortably, "but they aren't gonna get anybody who can top him."

There is no visible artifice about it. Fordisa man of common speech and touch. He came to the presidency burdened by the suspicion that he was not smart enough for it; even now, one heavily degreed adviser rates him neither brilliant nor surpassingly bright but just plain "sound and sensible." He can be a hard-shell Main Street conservative reading a welfare budget or an unemployment chart - and a soft touch confronted with suffering in the flesh. On a recent prowl in the White House, he struck up a conversation with a staff slide projectionist who was leaving after twenty years.

"Why are you leaving?" asked Ford.

"Because nobody asked me to stay," said the projectionist.

"Well,I'masking you to stay," said Ford - and the next morning, in his regular state-of-the-nation conference with staff coordinator Donald Rumsfeld, the case for keeping the projectionist on leapfrogged over inflation, recession and the woes of the world to the head of the day's agenda.

A PRESIDENT AT WORK

A member of the group of old pals who make up the Ford kitchen Cabinet sat in front of his TV set one evening last spring, watching the president hedge, fudge and waffle his way through a network interview. The counselor stood the pain for 45 minutes, then flicked off the set and began scribbling notes about how spongy Ford had seemed. "How'd I do?" the president asked him next day. "Jerry, you stunk, you just stunk," said the friend, and proceeded to explain why. Ford laughed and sucked at his pipe. "I appreciate that, he said.

The Open Presidency began as the Ragged Presidency - Ford himself uncertain of his footing, his staff mismatched and unguided, their joint product a flow of mistakes ranging from the packaging of the Nixon pardon to the unbuttoning of the WIN campaign. There are still bad bloopers, most recently Ford's failure (on Henry Kissinger's advice) to invite Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn for tea, let alone sympathy. But Rumsfeld, intense and prison-pale, has imposed some order on the chaos, and Ford has evolved a working style of his own. He consumes paper, staring at 6 a.m. - not just decision memos but the tabbed material supporting them. He invites dissent, and sometimes heeds it. He dominates meetings instead of merely moderating them. He has even learned to be grumpy; once, when a staff wrangle over minutiae ran on too long, he cut in evenly: "Look, fellas, you're wasting your time and you're wasting mine."

Still, openness has somehow survived tidiness. Five staffers (Kissinger, Rumsfeld, Hartmann, counsel Philip Buchen, political adviser John Marsh) retain "peeking privileges" - the license to pop in on Ford without appointments - and more than a dozen other aides and Cabinet officials see him regularly. In addition, once every six or seven weeks, the president convenes the kitchen Cabinet - in the Cabinet room, not the kitchen - for some sleeves-up, call-me-Jerry straight talk. They are a clubby crowd; their antecedents are Congressional (Melvin Laird, William Scranton, Charles Goodell) or corporate (Whyte, Procter & Gamble's Bryce Harlow, Hewlett-Packard's David Packard), and their collective tilt is strongly - but not unrelievedly - conservative. It was the kitchen Cabinet that prodded Ford to confront Congress over spending; it was the kitchen Cabinet as well that reminded him that he ought in the process to express his sympathy for the unemployed.

THE PLEASANT SURPRISE QUOTIENT

The family noticed it first, in the satellite relays and the wire photo of Ford's awkward early meetings with foreign heads of state. Shot after shot showed him standing or walking stiffly with his fingers laced tightly across his midsection, like a curate strolling through a cloister. They recognized his body language for what it was - a sign that he was uptight on what for him was brand-new terrain. Finally, Jack braced him with it: "Why don't you walk with them like you do with Carl Albert?" It took awhile - but now, sometimes, he does.

Nobody quite knows when Ford really started feeling presidential Jack imagines that it was the day he took the oath; others close to him date it to his first veto victories, or his speech at Tulane University declaring an end to the Indochina misadventure, or the winter conferences at Vail that produced his economic and energy programs. What no one doubts is that, terms of the sheer capacity to cope, he has grown into his job - has discovered where the buttons are and developed a growing sure-handedness about pushing them. Self-doubt is not one of Ford's vices, or his virtues. He has, he told Newsweek mildly, made no serious mistakes at all thus far - not the pardon, not WIN, not the lack of social programs. "Nothing substantively, no," he said. ". . . I really don't think there is anything major that I would do differently."

Not even Ford's most loyal employees subscribe to his zero-defect view of his presidency. But he has demonstrated that he can manage, and has accordingly profited from a kind of Pleasant Surprise Quotient - the discovery that he can after all govern and chew gum at the same time. His report card:

In economics, Ford settled on his basic premise early on: that inflation was more ruinous to more people than recession and that it could be contained only at the cost of some pain in added unemployment. His rare candor in saying so has won him high marks, even among liberals who object to his policies. He can, moreover, claim with some statistical support that Fordonomics is working - that the slump is bottoming out and that inflation has come down from double to single-digit levels. But his willingness to tolerate recession-level rates of joblessness through Election Day and beyond remains a high political risk. And his anti-inflationary strategy sometimes seems at war with his benign view of big business - his passive acceptance of two major aluminum price increases in a year, for example, or his own push for deregulation of the price of domestic oil.

In energy, Ford's signal achievement thus far has been to force the attention of Congress to the fact that there is a squeeze and that something ought to be done about it. "He got the mule's attention," conceded one Democratic Senate staffer. But he has run into resistance both with his basic program - raising oil prices in the hope of cutting down demand and stimulating new production - and with his efforts to bludgeon it through Congress. The mule, as a result, has dug in its heels. The House refused last week to grant Ford the gradual price-decontrol plan he had sent up; Ford in turn threatened to veto a six-month extension of existing price ceilings. The outcome of this game of chicken could thus be an explosive rather than a gradual rise in gasoline and home-heating costs - a jump that could re-ignite inflation and seriously depress the president's stock for 1976.

In foreign affairs, for all Ford's diminishing innocence abroad, his policies still come down to two words: Henry Kissinger. Ford's people insist that it is not a Svengali-Trilby relationship but a fundamental harmony of views; still, it is Kissinger (or his deputy, Brent Scowcroft) who conducts Ford through the daily global tour d'horizon and the periodic depth seminars at which the basic outlines of U.S. policy take form. The partnership thus far has liquidated the Vietnam war, at no visible political cost to the president; has scored a domestic political coup with the retrieval of the Mayaguez, and has got the Israeli-Egyptian negotiations back on track toward an interim agreement. But the Ford-Kissinger world order is full of unraveling ends, from Panama to Portugal to Turkey to Korea, and it is currently under sharpening criticism at its very foundation - a detente whose benefits have sometimes seemed to flow disproportionately from West to East.

It is the issues the president has not addressed that trouble his critics and comfort his potential Democratic challengers; his domestic record in their view is almost barren of programmatic ideas for the nation's social ills, and even an old Ford hand concedes that it is "spotty." The president himself told Newsweek that his domestic council will move out into the countryside this fall to collect suggestions at public hearings, and that he may well have something positive to offer next year on such matters as health insurance - if the state of the economy permits. But no one inside the White House or out expects the offerings to be visionary in design or grand in scale. Ford's rhetoric of late has been a running sermon on the evils of big government and big spending; he means it, and believes that he is tune with his times. "There is no free lunch," says one senior staffer, "and the American people know there is no free lunch. There are only hard choices."

AT WAR WITH THE HILL

Theywent out on the Sequoia one evening a fortnight ago, Ford setting the dress code for his guests from Congress by shucking his jacket and tie as soon as he stepped aboard. In the deepening twilight, the president buttonholed Thomas P. (Tip) O'Neill, the billowy, scarlet-nosed leader of the House Democratic majority, and playfully asked if he was prepared to help out on the Turkish arms question. "The hell I am," boomed Tip. Ford laughed appreciatively, and next day, through an intermediary, sent the Majority Leader - "my Irish friend" - a cigar.

Personal relations along Pennsylvania Avenue have vastly improved since Nixon, whose idea of consultation was an easelful of flip-charts and a monologue on what the White House expected of Congress. Ford is still Jerry on Capitol Hill. But institutional relations between the Republican president and the Democratic Congress have fallen into a kind of sour stasis. Ford has attempted with some success to make Congress the goat of his austerity economics this year and his run for a full term in 1976. He has vetoed no fewer than 36 bills - the modern first-year record was Harry Truman's 25 in 1945-46 - and until lately has made almost all of the vetoes stick.

But his victories have had their cost - a dangerous buildup of frustration among a majority that came to Washington billed as veto-proof and for a time believed it. The atmosphere of confrontation has eroded trust in Ford and his Administration. It has incited opposition to Ford's wishes as a matter of simple institutional pride; the air was smoky with vengeance last week when the House stampeded the health bill to passage over Ford's veto, and even Republican leader Rhodes thought better of speaking up for the president. And it has framed Ford himself as a target for partisan attack, even as he has sought to set up Congress. Tip O'Neill smokes Ford's cigars and laughs at Ford's jokes, but their camaraderie ends there. "Jeez, he's more conservative than Nixon ever was," grumped the leader. "Celluloid collar and high button shoes - that's his thinking."

CATCH '76

"It's a pity," said Senate Democratic Whip Robert Byrd, walking away from a leadership meeting with Ford, "that he's such a nice guy."

"Bob," responded Minority Leade Hugh Scott, "what you're really saying is that it's a pity he's not a Democrat."

Self-pity is in fact a condition of the Democratic Party in this summer of Jerry Ford. All the hornbook rules presidential politics decree that he ought to be a pushover - that nice guys indeed finish last when burdened, as Ford is, with high unemployment, rising prices, the memory of scandal and a do-little domestic record. But the Democrats have yet to find his match among their slate-gray field of contenders; the measure of their poverty is that their hottest property, Edward M. Kennedy remains unavailable - and that even he runs 7 points behind Ford in the latest Harris poll. Dwight Eisenhower wove a similar spell out of similarly plain ingredients. "Ford," says Sanford Weiner, a San Francisco campaign consultant, "might be everybody's favorite uncle, the way Ike was everybody's favorite grandfather. No one knew what Ike's policies were. They didn't give a damn - theylikedhim."

The greening of Ford, and the disarray of the Democrats, have bought the president time to quiet an incipient right-wing mutiny in his own party, and he has gone about it with uncommon skill for a man bred up in the Congressional district politics of Grand Rapids. He has been aided immeasurably by Ronald Reagan's endless temporizing at his Elsinore on the Pacific. But Ford has mainly helped himself, with the Mayaguez incident, the war on spending, and the strategic distancing of his own campaign from Nelson Rockefeller's. The rightward gestures have undercut Ronnie even in Reagan country. "Reagan," says Ford's man Hartmann, "is not really a long-range serious problem."

Yet Ford remains vulnerable to events, some within his control, some far beyond it. His own economists predict continuing high unemployment through Election Day; his response is that maybe they will be wrong. Inflation, for all his labors, has been only incompletely contained. His energy policies will jack up the costs of driving, heating, manufacturing, farming and practically everything else. His conduct of world affairs has yet to be challenged by any crisis more serious than a facedown with Cambodia's match wood navy. His wife's fragility was underscored once again when she had to beg off part of her taxing social schedule in Europe last week.

And Catch '76 for Gerald Ford remains Gerald Ford. He is unquestionably a man for this season - a kind of antihero whose homely virtues of thrift, honesty, hard work and modesty about the capacities of government exactly suit a diminished national mood. What he has yet to demonstrate is any larger capacity for leadership - for defining goals and mobilizing the energies of a nation behind them. His gamble is that that sort of leadership is an idea whose time has come and gone, at least for now. If he wins, he will have his place among the commoner presidents he admires - the Trumans and the Eisenhowers who triumphed by their identity with the ordinary man. If he loses, the analogies will indeed be with Calvin Coolidge, and they will no longer be meant to flatter Jerry Ford.

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Could Mike Pence Be the Next President? How Gerald Ford Picked up the Pieces After Nixon - Newsweek

In Colombia, Pence tries to strike balance on Venezuela – Kansas City Star


Kansas City Star
In Colombia, Pence tries to strike balance on Venezuela
Kansas City Star
Demonstrating the delicate balancing act that has come to define his vice presidency, Mike Pence tried to strike a balance Sunday in Colombia between Latin American opposition to possible U.S. military intervention in neighboring Venezuela, and ...
Venezuela crisis expected to top agenda during Mike Pence trip to Latin AmericaBelfast Telegraph

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In Colombia, Pence tries to strike balance on Venezuela - Kansas City Star

Mike Pence and the art of staying clean – Politico

Vice President Mike Pence has so far avoided being dragged into the muck of the Russia probes that have engulfed President Donald Trump, his top aides and his family members. Its no accident.

Unlike his boss, Pences Twitter feed is silent about a Russia hoax and witch hunts. Hes denied having knowledge of critical discrepancies in Michael Flynns story gaps that have landed the former national security adviser in prosecutors crosshairs. And hes taken pains to note he wasnt even part of the Trump ticket at a controversial June 2016 meeting where a Kremlin-linked lawyer offered dirt on Hillary Clinton in a meeting with Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner and Paul Manafort.

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The Vice President's office has also instituted strict rules against speaking to the press, and any staffers have to clear it with Pences new chief of staff, Nick Ayers, his communications director or press secretary before talking to reporters. And unlike in the West Wing, where staffers have taken to slinging arrows and airing unattributed grievances through the media, the rules have held firm in Pence's orbit, where infighting is rare.

While Pence has become known for his aw-shucks persona, the former Indiana governor and longtime congressman is also a cunning politician who has developed a playbook for staying clean over his decades in the spotlight.

Ryan Streeter, who served as Pences deputy chief of staff when he was governor, said Pence has a way of creating barriers between himself and wrongdoing, or even the appearance of wrongdoing.

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Streeter said Pence used to tell staffers: If theres a line you dont want to cross, you dont even walk up to it you stop three feet in front of it.

He possesses the judgment to stay away from things that can create problems later, Streeter said about Pences time as governor, which included his controversial flip on a religious freedom bill but was generally scandal-free.

That doesnt mean, however, that Pence has stayed squeaky clean in the White House or that he will be able to stay out of the Russia scandal as the probes intensify. At the very least, he will be a target for investigators eager to question key players in Trumps orbit.

Hes in the middle of something, even though he may not be in the middle of it, said Stanley Brand, a white-collar defense lawyer who represented George Stephanopolous during the special counsel investigations into President Bill Clintons Whitewater land deals.

Politically, Pences credibility on the Russia probe has taken some hits especially when his answers on Russia have been contradicted by facts that later emerged. Where hes gotten himself in trouble is making statements defending Trump, then having other facts come out, said William Jeffress, a white-collar attorney who represented Vice President Dick Cheneys chief of staff, I. Lewis Scooter Libby, during the Valerie Plame CIA leak investigation.

The contradictions have happened more than once. Pence said during the transition, for example, that Flynn had not discussed sanctions during calls with the Russian ambassador. That was later revealed to be untrue, and Pence pleaded ignorance.

Pence also defended Trumps firing of FBI director James Comey by pointing to the recommendations made by Attorney General Jeff Sessions and deputy attorney general Rod Rosenstein that were widely circulated by the White House. But Trump soon announced he would have fired Comey regardless of the recommendation, again landing Pence in an awkward spot.

And despite Pences attempts to steer clear of Russia-related landmines in the White House, his mere proximity to Trump and presence in the West Wing makes him of keen interest to investigators and its unknown what the questioning could uncover.

All the senior staff are potential grand jury witnesses, said Adam Goldberg, a former Clinton White House special associate counsel.

Pence, for example, can eventually expect to face a range of questions from special counsel Robert Mueller and others investigating the Russia probe over conversations he had during the transition period with Flynn, as well as Trumps firing of Comey.

On the Flynn front, there is a record showing Pence got a heads up about some of the retired lieutenant general's controversies through his role leading the Trump post-election transition, even though he previously claimed he wasnt aware of the activities.

Rep. Elijah Cummings, the top Democrat on the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, sent Pence a letter on Nov. 18 raising alarm about Flynns conflicts of interest, namely his work lobbying on behalf of the Turkey government and his December 2015 paid trip to Moscow. The transition team that Pence led acknowledged the letter 10 days later.

But in early March, Pence told Fox News that he was just learning of Flynns lobbying activities. Well, let me say, hearing that story today was the first Id heard of it, he said.

Pence being caught unaware also doesnt square with a Feb. 19 interview then-White House chief of staff Reince Priebus gave to NBC where he was asked about Flynns firing and the two-plus week gap between the White House knowing about the national security advisers remarks to Pence concerning sanctions and his firing.

The vice president is in the loop on everything, Priebus replied.

Vice President Mike Pence poses for a photo with his family after the unveiling of his official state portrait on Aug. 11 in Indianapolis. | AP Photo/Darron Cummings

With Comey, Pence can expect to face questions from federal and congressional investigators about what he was told by the president both before and after Trump pulled the FBI director aside in the Oval Office after a Feb. 14 meeting that had included the vice president, Priebus, Sessions and Kushner. Hes also likely to be questioned in the obstruction of justice investigation centering on Comeys firing, given that his statement about the justification clashed with Trumps.

Theres another reason Pence may be called to answer questions. In multiple interviews, hes dismissed any contact between the Trump campaign and Russian election meddlers.

Of course not, Pence said in a mid-January interview with CBS just days before the inauguration. And I think to suggest that is to give credence to some of these bizarre rumors that have swirled around the candidacy.

All the contact by the Trump campaign and associates were with the American people, he told Fox News Sunday that same day.

Recognizing the legal stakes ahead, Pence has hired a prominent lawyer, Richard Cullen, a former Virginia attorney general and U.S. attorney under President George H.W. Bush. But still unclear is how the vice president will pay for the help.

Pence is hardly wealthy. As vice president, hes making $230,700 a year, which comes on top of his May 2017 financial disclosure that show he was making $109,749 a year as Indiana governor, along with three state pensions for retirement. His wife had no income and his own bank account had between $1,001 and $15,000. Pence also had at least $105,000 in student loan debt for his childrens education.

Jarrod Agen, who recently got a promotion from communications director to deputy chief of staff, said Pence had ruled out using taxpayer funds or money raised through his political action committee to pay for his lawyer.

Legal experts say they dont think Pences legal bills have gotten too big at this early stage of the process. To start, Pence likely has provided documents to his lawyer but hasnt spent much time preparing to give testimony or answer questions under oath. You can get to $10,000 real quick and even $50,000. But I dont see Pence as incurring some huge legal bill, Jeffress said.

Pence has made one significant move that could signal an awareness of the perilous political path ahead. He recently replaced his longtime aide and chief of staff Josh Pitcock with Ayers, a 34-year-old Republican operative from Georgia who was a top Pence aide during the 2016 campaign.

The move seemed to show that, in Trumps Washington, theres more of a premium on the skills of a political knife-fighter than a policy wonk. Trumps White House, after all, does remain under a state of siege over the Russia probe, and the talk that the president could fire Mueller prompted Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham to recently warn that such a move could be the beginning of the end of the Trump administration.

Pence is not, however, in an entirely unprecedented position.

Past vice presidents from Gerald Ford to George H.W. Bush and Al Gore can attest to the challenge of maintaining ones personal political fortune and limiting legal liability while also demonstrating loyalty to a president caught in serious scandal.

Robert Bennett, a white-collar attorney who represented President Clinton in the Monica Lewinsky and Paula Jones cases, said Pence appears to be doing a fine job of navigating the situation so far.

He appears to be out of the news, so somebody is doing something right, Bennett said. Theres an old expression: Mushrooms dont get hit by lightningthats because they grow underground.

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Mike Pence and the art of staying clean - Politico

Fake Mike Pence Food Diary Is the Funniest Food Thing on the Internet Right Now – Eater

An extremely clever person put together a fake website for Vice President Mike Pence that has a hilarious what I ate section chronicling five (fictional) days in the Veeps life. Pence kicks off his week with 3 egg whites with mayonnaise vinaigrette washed down with a corn smoothie, and he ends it with 3 slices of white bread, a glass of whole milk, and an entire bottle of NyQuil. Judging by this fake food diary, Pence loves anything white and bland, so long as mother doesnt forbid him from eating it.

According to the joke diary, Pence went on a McDonalds hash brown bender on Wednesday, but the VP explains: I dont normally eat six hash browns for breakfast, but after finding out that my breakfast meeting was with a non-relative female, I had to abruptly cancel and head back to the White House for a briefing on Russia stuff.

His other meals that day are equally absurd:

The rest of the website imagines what it would look like if Pence launched an official 2020 presidential campaign. Although some people initially thought this was a hack of his official homepage, it turns out that Pences real website simply redirects to Donald Trumps landing page, and this is just a work of fiction. What I Ate Today [Mike Pence] All Eater IDK Coverage [E]

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Fake Mike Pence Food Diary Is the Funniest Food Thing on the Internet Right Now - Eater

Sorry, Mike Pence, You’re Doomed – New York Times

Many Republicans wonder if Trump will remain in the picture and viable in 2020. He could implode even more than he already has, I mean. He could be run out of town, one way or another. He could stomp off. The scenarios are myriad, and to prepare for them, Pence indeed needs an infrastructure and a network of his own. But theres simply no way to assemble those without looking disloyal to Trump and courting the wrath of alt-right types who know how to go on a Twitter jihad.

Other would-be successors to Trump arent in the same bind. They dont owe Trump what Pence does. They never pledged Trump complete allegiance. Gov. John Kasich of Ohio, whose unofficial 2020 campaign commenced even before Trumps inauguration, can raise money, stage news conferences, take up residence on CNN and pick apart Trumps proposals all he wants. It wont endear him to Trumps base, but it wont make him a marked man.

Senator Ben Sasse of Nebraska can style himself as a humble, homespun remedy to Trumps cupidity and histrionics. Senator Tom Cotton of Arkansas can take a calibrated approach, more hawkish than Trump on foreign policy but eager to link arms with him on immigration.

Pence, though, is squeezed tight into a corner of compulsory worship. And despite his behind-the-scenes machinations, he has done a masterful job of appearing perfectly content there.

In news photographs and video, you catch other politicians glancing at the president in obvious bafflement. Not Pence. Never Pence. He moons. He beams. Its 50 shades of infatuation. Daniel Day-Lewis couldnt muster a more mesmerizing performance, and its an unusually florid surrender of principles.

Im not referring to policy and the fact that before he agreed to become Trumps running mate, he blasted Trumps proposed Muslim ban, tweeting that it was offensive and unconstitutional, and fiercely advocated free trade. Im referring to Pences supposed morality.

He trumpets his conservative Christianity and avoids supping alone with any woman other than his wife, then turns around and steadfastly enables an avowed groper with a bulging record of profanely sexual comments.

He publishes a testimonial, Confessions of a Negative Campaigner, in which he invokes Jesus while vowing never to repeat such political ugliness in the future, then turns around and collaborates with a politician whose ugliness knows no limit.

No wonder he wants and expects a reward as lavish as the White House itself: He sold his soul. But I dont think he studied the contract closely enough and thought the whole thing through.

Theres no political afterlife in this equation, just the loopy, mortifying limbo in which he and so many of Trumps other acolytes dwell.

Maybe the howling is cathartic. Wont change a thing.

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Sorry, Mike Pence, You're Doomed - New York Times