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Federal spending is careening out of control as Washington bureaucrats fritter our tax dollars away on slots-playing pigeons and zombified cats.

Four months after the US national debt shot past the $30 trillion mark for the first time in history, a new report from Illinois-based nonprofit American Transparency is detailing some of the foolish, fraudulent, and frivolous federal projects that have spent us into an economic ditch.

The federal government isnt just wasting your money. They are literally ripping you off, said Adam Andrzejewski, the groups founder. They are milking taxpayers like dairy cows.

Andrzejewski pointed to a March report from the Government Accountability Office that tallied $281 billion in improper and mistaken payments in 2021 alone without even attempting to count the billions wasted on fraud-ridden COVID relief programs.

What government program is running well? he asked.

In their annual Wheres The Pork? report, Andrzejewski and his team of fiscal analysts crunch the numbers on the exorbitant discretionary spending that has come to light in the last two years. Heres just some of what they found.

Pigeon Slots

Cost: $465,339

Taxpayers are rolling the dice on a high-stakes study that aims to untangle the psychology of gambling addiction by building a casino for pigeons. The National Institute of Health has sent nearly half a million dollars to uber-liberal Reed College in Portland, Ore., where researchers are taking three years to create a self-contained miniature economy for the schools flock of birds. The pigeons receive currency-like tokens that they can earn, accumulate, spend, or gamble on slot machines, Dr. Timothy Hackenberg explained in the projects abstract. But even he admits the practical applications of his work are few. Presumably the eye-popping budget is needed to pay for all the comped rooms, free drinks, and tiny uniforms for feathered cocktail waitresses.

Fake Farms

Cost: $7 million

Giddy-up, pardner, and round up some COVID cash! The pandemic was a bonanza of wasteful federal spending. Case in point: a single loan processing company sent about $7 million worth of Paycheck Protection Program checks to imaginary farms in impossible places, a ProPublica investigation found. Scammers successfully claimed that tiny Beach Haven, NJ, a resort town of bungalows and marinas just north of Atlantic City, was home to phantom agricultural operations like the Beefy King cattle ranch and the Deely Nuts tree nut farm. Theres no farming here, Joe Mancini, the local mayor, told the watchdog group. Were a sandbar, for Christs sake. The ranch, according to the fraudulent filings, operated at Mancinis home address where he keeps three dogs, he said, but no cows.

Leapin Lizards

Cost: $75,000

Harvard biologists turned a leaf blower, a wooden pole, and a lounge of Caribbean lizards into a $75,000 payday. The National Science Foundation, claiming concern about worsening climate-change-induced hurricanes, paid researchers to capture 47 anole lizards in the Turks and Caicos Islands, then blast the animals with leaf blowers. The scientists filmed the critters hanging onto their sticks for dear life in windspeeds up to 108 mph and kept recording as they went flying. The experiment produced some hilarious YouTube footage, plus a theory that bigger toes help lizards survive hurricane-force winds.

Transgendered Monkeys

Cost: $477,121

A Florida lab is dosing male rhesus macaques with feminizing hormones intent on turning them trans. The experiment, funded by Dr. Anthony Faucis National Institute of Allergies and Infectious Diseases, aims to figure out why male-to-female transgender humans suffer high levels of HIV infection. HIV/AIDS thrives in the margins of society, reads the uber-woke project description. No population is more affected by these social injustices than transgender persons. The scientists suspect estradiol, the hormone commonly given to transgender women, may weaken the immune system. Next up: drag monkey story hour in your local library.

Cow Surveillance

Cost: $45,000

Wheres the beef? Check the satellite feed. With cash from the National Science Foundation and the DigitalGlobe Foundation, undergraduates at the University of California Santa Barbara spent eight months looking at satellite images of cows, in a project that studied the interactions between livestock and wildlife. Udderly confused students were asked to figure out how cows at Point Reyes National Seashore could coexist with native tule elk without butting heads. Spotting cows from space not your typical student research, admitted ecologist Doug McCauley, who led the project.

Star-studded COVID Handouts

Cost: $14 million

The rich got richer during the coronavirus pandemic, thanks to Uncle Sam. Bold-faced names like Kanye West, Robert Redford, and Francis Ford Coppola collected big bucks in 2020 from the COVID relief Paycheck Protection Program. West, who now has a net worth of about $6.6 billion, received $2.4 million for Yeezy, LLC, his famous sneaker company, which was valued at $2.9 billion at the time. Meanwhile, $3.04 million in loans went to Redfords Sundance Institute. Two of Coppolas companies, Francis Ford Coppola LLC and Niebaum Coppola Estate Winery, LP received a combined $8.5 million. The PPP program was created to help businesses stay afloat and keep idled workers off the unemployment rolls, but for wealthy celebrities, the forgivable loans didnt make any cents.

Zombie Russian Cats

Cost: $549,331

Grisly experiments in a Russian lab turned cute kitties into electrically-controlled zombies with the help of the US government. Researchers at the Pavlov Institute of Physiology in St. Petersburg, Russia were paid by the US National Institutes of Health to decerebrate 18 healthy cats, severing their brain stems to prevent movement while keeping them alive. The ghoulish scientists then used electrical charges to make the cats walk on treadmills, transforming them into the walking kitty dead. Congressional Republicans exploded at President Biden when news of the cruel and wasteful tests leaked earlier this year, just days after Russia invaded Ukraine. Our foreign adversaries, especially ones run by tyrants, should not be given US tax dollars to conduct heinous animal research, they wrote in a March 10 letter to the president.

Cowa-Dung-a!

Cost: $556,584

A smelly study funded mainly by the National Science Foundation measured animal poop to test a mathematical model of defecation. Researchers recorded footage of pandas, elephants, warthogs, and more in their most private moments, then examined and weighed the bowel movements, taking notes on the feces size and shape and recording the duration of defecation. The crappy study collected poop samples from 43 species at Zoo Atlanta, university animal facilities, and farms. The scientists doody: to discover new non-invasive methods of diagnosing animal illnesses. If youve ever wondered just how much dung a lion produces each day (less than one pound, it turns out), your taxpayer dollars have been well spent.

NSAs Never-Used Garage

Cost: $3.6 million

The National Security Agency may be Americas top intelligence-gathering organization, but it lacks the smarts to build a functional employee parking lot. A blistering 2021 inspector generals report shamed the agency for wasting $3.6 million on a hastily built modular parking deck at its Ft. Mead, Maryland headquarters. The finished garage, meant for 250 vehicles, held just 87 costing $34,000 per spot, the IG calculated. Worse, the structures European designers didnt take the size and weight of American cars into account. After a year of safety testing, the agency admitted that the garage was too flimsy to use. The NSA paid $500,000 to demolish the structure which never welcomed a single employee vehicle in 2019.

Toilet Cams

Cost: $6.97 million

Butts up, doc? Scientists from Stanford University used nearly $7 million in funds from the National Cancer Institute to build an artificially intelligent toilet system that films the users nether regions. Just like your fingerprint, the researchers claim, your derriere has up to 37 unique creases that create an individually identifiable analprint. The toilets internal cameras and computers analyze the users urine flow, track time spent on the bowl, and evaluate stool to gauge its owners overall health. The data is regularly uploaded to a secure one hopes internet cloud. However, the Stanford team acknowledges, To fully reap the benefits of the smart toilet, users must make their peace with a camera that scans their anus.

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Watchdog calls out the government's most ridiculous spending - New York Post

The Department of Justice filed a civil antitrust lawsuit today to block Booz Allen Hamilton Holding Corporations (Booz Allen) proposed acquisition of EverWatch Corp. (EverWatch), a subsidiary of EC Defense Holdings LLC. The complaint, filed in the U.S. District Court for the District of Maryland, alleges that the merger agreement threatens imminent competition for a government contract to provide operational modeling and simulation services to the National Security Agency (NSA). Unless enjoined, the transaction would eliminate competition for this defense contract, leaving NSA to face a monopoly bidder.

Booz Allens agreement to acquire EverWatch imperils competition in a market that is vital to our national security, said Assistant Attorney General Jonathan Kanter of the Justice Departments Antitrust Division. Both the acquisition agreement and the underlying transaction violate federal antitrust law.

NSA periodically issues a contract for the provision of operational modeling and simulation services to support its signals intelligence data missions. As part of the procurement process, it plans to issue requests for proposals for the next iteration of this contract imminently. Prior to the merger agreement, Booz Allen and EverWatch competed head-to-head to win this NSA contract. Shortly before NSA was scheduled to release the requests for proposal, however, Booz Allen decided to buy its only rival instead. The complaint alleges that the merger agreement violates Section 1 of the Sherman Act because it immediately reduced each companys incentive to bid aggressively. The complaint further alleges that the proposed transaction substantially lessens competition, in violation of Section 7 of the Clayton Act.

As alleged in the complaint, NSA is a leading defense intelligence agency, specializing in cryptology, signals intelligence, and cybersecurity, and is responsible for providing signals intelligence to our nations policymakers and armed forces. Signals intelligence, which is derived from electronic signals and emissions in communications systems, plays a vital role in our national security by providing Americas leaders with critical information needed to defend the United States and to advance the countrys goals and alliances globally.

Booz Allen is a publicly traded professional services company that provides a broad range of services and solutions in management, technology, consulting and engineering. Booz Allen is incorporated in the State of Delaware. It is headquartered in McLean, Virginia, and has an office in Annapolis Junction, Maryland.

EverWatch is a subsidiary of EC Defense Holdings LLC, which is itself owned by the private equity firm Enlightenment Capital. EverWatch provides a range of services to the defense and intelligence community focused on data science, intelligence and cybersecurity. EverWatch is headquartered in Reston, Virginia, and has an office in Annapolis Junction, Maryland.

Read more at the Justice Department

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Citing NSA Contract, Justice Department Sues to Block Booz Allen Hamilton's Proposed Acquisition of EverWatch - HS Today - HSToday

5G core software expert Alepo and Casa Systems announced a strategic partnership that will simplify the deployment of 5G networks and reduce time-to-market and resource requirements for service providers and enterprise customers.

Casas cloud-native 5G Core, combined with the Alepos subscriber data management (SDM) and converged policy control (PCF, PCRF), will deliver an industry-leading low resource footprint that keeps initial investment low. It will give service providers and private enterprises the ability to deploy 4G, 5G, and fixed wireless access (FWA) broadband networks more rapidly and cost effectively.

5G transforms the role of the service provider, opening new opportunities to forge cross-industry partnerships to launch diverse services. The combination of Alepos policy control and containerized SDM with Casa Systems portfolio of open, cloud-native 5G Core network functions, facilitates a smooth transition to 5G. Service providers can shift to a fully virtualized service-based environment using a single solution to support both LTE and 5G.

The solution provides a secure, flexible, scalable, cloud-native architecture with 3GPP standards-compliant network functions, enabling service providers to upgrade to 5G without disrupting their existing services. Service providers of all sizes can swiftly introduce 5G capabilities and support new 5G use cases, including private enterprise networks, for diverse industry verticals.Alepos cloud-native network functions are built to maximize ROI, with compact resource needs, high-performance architecture, and an agnostic approach to deployment infrastructure.

Alepos experience in digital transformation helps modernize operational architecture without service disruption, shifting to a fully virtualized service-based environment as operators evolve to 5G.Multiple field trials and deployments with leading operators in the US, Europe, and Australia are underway, including a leading mobile operator deploying private 5G and a fixed broadband operator deploying a fixed and wireless solution to expand coverage to underserved communities.

Gibson Ang, Vice President, Technology at Casa SystemsAt Casa Systems, we rely on a simple truth: if the network is not built for you, it is not the right network. For 5G to be successful, the network must be tailored to meet each customers specific needs. Thats why Casa built an open, interoperable, cloud-native 5G Core network architecture that allows us to pull in best-of-breed technologies so that we can create cloud-native network solutions that unlock new markets, new services, and new revenues for our customers.

Derrick Gross, President of AlepoAlepo has been at the forefront of 5G, with SDM and policy components that offer among the lowest resource footprints in the industry, and Casas components are the perfect complement for what weve developed. Were thrilled to partner with Casa Systems on our shared mission of enabling global operators to launch and monetize 5G regardless of their size.

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Casa Systems, Alepo Team Up to Deliver 5G SA & 5G NSA Solutions - The Fast Mode

FORT MEADE, Md. The National Security Agency (NSA) and partner cybersecurity authorities released a Cybersecurity Information Sheet today recommending that Microsoft Windows operators and administrators properly configure and monitor PowerShell to prevent and detect abuse by malicious actors.NSA, the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA), and the New Zealand and UK National Cybersecurity Centres developed Keeping PowerShell: Security Measures to Use and Embrace to help Windows operators and administrators understand how PowerShell supports system maintenance, forensics, automation, and security.PowerShell is a scripting language and command line tool included with Microsoft Windows that provides many features, including the ability to automate tasks, improve incident response and enable forensics efforts. However, the same extensibility, ease of use, and availability that aids net defenders also provides an opportunity for malicious cyber actors, who have often abused PowerShell after gaining access to victim networks.This has prompted some net defenders to disable or remove the Windows tool. NSA and its partners advise against doing so, and instead recommend following the guidance in this advisory to properly configure and monitor the tool. Recent versions of PowerShell include improved defensive capabilities, including ways to counter PowerShell abuse. The report outlines security features in PowerShell that help with protecting credentials, remote management configurations, anti-virus scanning and logging.Read the full report here. Visit our full library for more cybersecurity information and technical guidance.

Excerpt from:
Partners Recommend Properly Configuring, Monitoring PowerShell in New Report - National Security Agency

There will be no roll back of the Agnipath scheme as it is for the good of the armed forces and even the youth who get trained through it, National Security Advisor (NSA) Ajit Doval said on Tuesday. He also said there would be ample employment opportunities for Agniveers as by the time they retire from the forces, India will have a $5 trillion economy and industries will be vying to employ disciplined, trainable youth.

There is no question of any rollback. This is not a knee jerk reaction. This has been discussed for decades. In 1970s, we had General Krishna Rao Committee of which General Chhibber and General Sundar were members. They talked about reforming the Army, including the manpower policy. Then there was the Arun Singh report in 1989 and then there was a Group of Ministers report there was Subramaniam Committee report, the Kargil Committee report All had this consistent refrain that go for a younger Army. But there was a problem. While everybody realized it was necessary, no one had the ability and the will to take the risk, Doval said in an interview to ANI.

The statement comes amid continuing violent protests across the country over the governments new scheme for recruitment in the armed forces where youngsters will be recruited only for a period of four years at the jawan level instead of the earlier 15 years.

In an attempt to allay fears of unemployment after four years in the Army, Doval said there was a misunderstanding that had been created.

We are talking about a young man who is 22 or 23 years old, has done four years of service and now is in the market. This man has become disciplined, has got the capability to work in a team, has learnt skills, developed confidence, is trainable and has got all-India perspective. He is much more equipped to face the society. On top of it, he has been given a qualification equivalent to plus two. Then he will have Rs 11 lakh with him which he can use to study further, Doval said.

By the time Agniveer retires, India will be a $5 trillion economy. There will be a lot of opportunities in the private sector. Industries will want to hire people who are disciplined and trainable. Their biggest asset will be their young age. Their future is totally secure, he added.

On the need for such a scheme, Doval said, Security is a very dynamic concept. The whole world is going through great change. Increasingly we are going towards contactless war We must have a young, fit, agile and well-trained Army. It is a contradiction that a country that has the youngest population, has the oldest Army.

On the fears of the scheme making the Army weak, Doval said, Agniveer will never constitute the whole Army. They are there for only four years. Rest of the Army will be made up of experienced people. Those Agniveers who become regulars eventually, will go through more intensive training. So Indian Army will always have people who, though recruited as Agniveers, have been selected for their suitability, agility, motivation and aptitude. Selection is one part, but when you observe people over a long period of time, you realise who is an ideal soldier. So, after four years, the people who will join the Army will be crme de la crme.

Doval also said that the concept of regiments is not being tinkered with and regiments such as artillery and armoured corps, among others, will remain. Calling caste-based regiments a colonial legacy, Doval said there were very few left in the Army.

Doval also brushed aside fears of Agniveers becoming mercenaries for hire after retirement.

This fear is totally invalid? I have been in the business of security for the last 55 years. I can tell you, if there is any guarantee in the society to keep peace, stability and rule of law, it will be the civilian population of the country who have to become law abiding. And you will find the best of the law-abiding citizens in these youth who will have nationalist sentiments and protect the national interest and create that environment. In those four years in the forces, only their bodies will not be trained, but even their minds will be transformed. They will become an asset for our internal security when they go into the society, Doval said.

On the ongoing protests, Doval said there was opposition from two sets of people, which included Army veterans, who he said were opposing for lack of full information, and those with vested interests.

These are those who have no concern with the security of the nation nor are they dedicated to the nation. They are conflict entrepreneurs. These are people who will go for stone throwing, demonstrations and burning trains. An Agniveer will never be misled into this. I dont think any of these people (those protesting) are interested in joining the forces, he said.

Doval said there was some anticipation of the protests within the government. We thought these people who have got some vested interest some people are making money through coaching centres some want to discredit the government some want the youth to go against the government But we are a democracy. But once they transgress those red lines where the limits of their freedom start undermining the countrys security and its law and order, certainly the action has to be taken and has been taken, Doval said.

On whether the Agnipath scheme and other issues of internal security could have been preceded by more consultation, Doval said, Management of security is a very layered phenomenon. In some situations, there has to be complete insulation. People should know on the basis of need to know. If there are people who have nothing to contribute and are not accountable and you take them into confidence, probably, once it becomes public, our adversaries will take advantage of that. As far as consultation is concerned, India is a democracy you find if there are 100 issues, there are 101 opinions. And they are freely expressed from the street to the press.

Doval asserted that the Agnipath scheme was part of the governments consistent effort to transform the Army and make it ready for the future. He insisted that it was owing to the strong political will of the prime minister that this was possible.

In 2006, Ministry of Defence wrote a letter to the Ministry of Home Affairs that we are thinking of implementing this thing and will the CPMFs be able to take some people MHA gave a reply that we are forming a committee under the DG BSF to examine the matter. That committee report was never seen by anyone. It was about political will. It can only happen under a PM like Modi, who will say that if this is in the national interest, if this will make India stronger and secure, then no risk is big enough. Even if there is a political cost, I will pay (he will say), he said.

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No rollback of Agnipath; good for Army, youth: NSA Ajit Doval - The Indian Express