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IT WAS NEW YEARS EVE, AND EVERYTHING WAS SUPPOSED TO CHANGE.A number oflocal friendscame over to my apartment in Istanbul, where we toasted the end of 2016the bloodiest year in Turkeys recent history. At midnight, a woman named Ozum screamed with joy: Thank God it's over. Moments later, my WhatsApp erupted with panicked messages from acquaintances who were barhopping that night. A deadly attack had taken place at anightclub called Reina, a short drive away.I rushed to the scene to report on the terror incidentforUSA Today.

I remember the rotating drum of red lights from the ambulance parked outside, along with a man weeping so stiffly he choked. But what lingersmost strongly may be two women in their 20s lurching out of Reina, the first carryingherwounded friend usingone arm;she used the other to support her own injured knee. Together, the two limpedurgently get out of the frenzy. I hurriedto help themand pressed a water bottle to the injured womans mouthso she could drink. She smiled and said Tashakula(thank you).

Once one of the worlds greatempires, Turkeywhich shares its largest borderwithSyriais a member of NATO, and onlyfour years agowas hailed as amodel of democracyby the European Commission, which extended an invitation to join the European Union.

Since then, internal politics and regional meddling by Turkeys sitting party have caused the EU to reconsider its democratic values,freezing its membership process. The nations then-Prime Minister, now President Recep TayyipErdogan, has beenconsolidating powerfor himself, makingnew alliances only to abandonthem, working to instill fear and alack of trust within hisnation so severe that even anattempted military couplast July hasntstopped him.

On Sunday, April 16, Turkey will hold one of the most important votesin itshistory:whether or not to relinquish a parliamentary democracy in favor of an executive presidency (essentially a dictatorship). If thepolls are to be trusted, those in favor of democracy are losing, and the predicted outcome will set a precedent for authoritarian rule that may irreparably disrupt the Middle East and possibly much of the West, as well.

Since he was elected in 2014, Erdogan hasveered down a dangerously tyrannical path, hunting down so-calledterroristsagainst the state, arresting and imprisoning tens of thousands of journalists, human rights activists, lawyers, and security officials, paralyzing national institutions and throwing nearly everyonewhether they support Erdoganor oppose himinto a near-constant state of panic.

Turkish citizens are alert at all times, suspicious of what might lurk around the corner, overly grateful whenever a stretch of time passes and nothing has gone wrong. Each time I see him, my grocer says thingslike this to me: Thank God you were not hurt at Reina. A few weeks later, after a car bomb goes off at a courthouse:Thank God you were not inIzmir. The following month, after a suicide bombing at police headquarters: Thank God you were not inGaziantep. Then we nod at each other, rather than acknowledge our shock that were both still alive aloud.

There is something about living in fear that I dont trust, says my good friend and psychologist Pinar Din, who at 41 has so far been successful in keeping her 2017 resolutionto practice making scrambled eggs and learn how to swim.Ordinary life is her resistance.There is something wrong with silently fearing something. I think we should speak out every time we dont trust something we are told. Pinar often comes by my apartment to seek a couch from which she can furiously typenotes to friends, nudging them to participate in a protest. We must ask, Who is a terrorist? Why cant the government protect us from them? Why are so many people in prison? she writes. We should ask until we find clarity.

Elif Kaya, a 36-year-old who runs a coffee shop in the hip Istanbul neighborhood of Cihangir,is also suspicious of her government for not prioritizing the safety of its citizens. Erdogan is not doing anything for his country. He just wants to draw power for himself, she says. Even if there are terrorists who hurt us, it is the governments job to protect us.

What I saw at that massacre taught me a lot about whats at stake for the Turkish government, its people, and for democratic countries with populist leanings, including France,Britain,and theUnited States. Ozum later told me she wasstunned that the new year didnt bring new tides as shed expected, insteadsnatchingaway any reassurance she hadthat instability would be over soon.For me, what has remained istheperson who rememberedto saythank youin a crisis. Even in daunting times, when our long-standing democratic protections do not hold, theresplenty of reason to keep faith in ourpower to resist.

As Sundays voteapproaches, people rush to ferry boats as if the fear of crowds has completely vanished from their minds. Theres an old saying here in Istanbul,a city of 15 million tobacco-chewing artistsand builders who cross itshistoric bridges over the Bosphorus Strait every day; parents take their childrentograffiti-dottedplaygrounds, and pedestrianshop intotaxicabs during rush hour to race to work,and fishermentoil beneath them just before dawn:We are the bridge people, and for some reason everyone knows that everybody will pass through.

My journalist and writer friend, 43-year-old Ece Temelkuran, puts it more simply:There is a wisdom in this country, to wait for things to be over. I fear that if those who want to resist Erdogan do not come out to vote, waiting for things to pass could be their only option.

Of course, being patient is, in its way, a form of resistance, or at least resilience. It remindsmeofchewed tobaccowretched and somehow beautiful, too. Having spent more two years in and out of Turkey, traveling through its oft-forgotten Kurdish towns along the border, witnessing the flux of refugees from Syria and elsewhere, I can say that the country offers a case study about what can happen when we allow those in power to increase their strength too quickly. But, depending on what happens on Sunday, it may also reveal whats possible when citizens fight back.

Top image:Turkish anti-coup rally in Istanbul via Wikimedia Commons.

Original post:
A Massacre For Democracy - GOOD Magazine