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Be careful not to get busted for marijuana-related offenses this holiday season.

If you are reading this, you're probably doing what the rest of working-class America is up to at this very moment: Sitting around the office waiting for that godforsaken clock to strike five, so they can get the heck out of dodge and kick off a long, gluttonous holiday weekend.

Some of you are packing up the family and hitting the road late Wednesday night to attend turkey dinners hosted by relatives that you haven't seen since last year. Others are simply going home to feed the cat, order a pizza and perhaps plant themselves in front of the television for four days straight.

But there is a wild-eyed legion of so-and-so's out there that will use the official launch of the holiday season as an excuse to get insanely drunk, stoned and engage in all sorts of debaucherous behavior. This is that rowdy bunch who goes all-in when it comes to events like Drunksgiving, Danksgiving and any other party-time label that means taking a break from real life for a few days and just getting wrecked beyond belief. I, of course, am part of the latter the hell raisers who give it their all in pursuit of good times. Only now I use my Acorns investment account to make sure there is plenty of bail money on hand just in case my amusement dies in a fiery blaze of stupidity.

In fact, as I sit here typing out this column from my office in gloomy Southern Indiana, I am also double checking the books (or in this case, the app) to make sure Im flush enough to stay out of trouble come Wednesday evening. You see, I am spending my Thanksgiving Eve getting blasted on the best black market weed I could get my hands on (thanks California!) drinking a few Three Floyds IPAs and watching Alice Cooper in concert. Yeah, I expect it will be madness, and a damn good time to boot.

Come on 5 oclock!

While most people who go out partying during the holidays are well versed in the rules of drinking (know when to say when, don't drink and drive, have a designated driver, well, designated before heading out) marijuana and all of the noise surrounding it is an entirely different beast altogether. This goes double when people start mixing weed with the American roadways. So, I got to thinking: The stoner class could really use some guidance when it comes to holiday travel. They need something to ensure that they make it out of this festive season without getting harassed, arrested and impaled by legal woes that will most certainly not make for a happy new year.

So, as my gift to all the marijuana users of this moderately okie-dokie nation, I have compiled a brief list of tips, tricks and other useful information about traveling with weed that might save some of your behinds.

Your designated driver needs to be pot-free.

Fifteen states have zero-tolerance laws on the books for driving under the influence of drugs (DUID). And yes, they include marijuana. Any motorist suspected of driving high in these jurisdictions could be dragged to jail on this charge even if they weren't actually impaired at the time of the traffic stop. In a zero-tolerance state, just having a trace amount of THC in your system means jail, having your vehicle impounded and years of jumping through hoops courtesy of the court system. Also, failure to comply with the officer's request for a roadside drug test, well, that is an automatic admission of guilt, which will inevitably lead to a conviction for DUID, loss of your driver's license and many other unsavory spankings.

Anyone out there partying this holiday weekend (or any other time when Americans are off work) should know that the police will be out in full force. There will even be random sobriety checkpoints sprouting up in some parts. So, it is best to employ a designated driver who doesn't use marijuana. Because if the cops think the driver is high, they are going to investigate further. And since pot is weird in the way that it metabolizes in the body, even an occasional user risks getting popped for stoned driving. Other states have established specific THC limits that a motorist cannot go over without getting arrested. Even in areas where marijuana is legal, pot users can still get busted for driving high if they test over the permitted limit. Thats usually 5 nanograms of THC per milliliter of blood. This is even the case if you are a medical marijuana cardholder. It should be noted that none of the marijuana testing presently available provides accurate results. Police can tell if someone has used marijuana, but they cannot determine impairment. But theyll arrest you anyway.

If a marijuana-free DD isn't available to you and your crew, I recommend sticking to ride-share services like Uber and Lyft.

Get busted for marijuana and say goodbye to your vehicle.

There are state and federal civil asset forfeiture laws that allow police to seize personal property if it was used in a crime. In some cases, all law enforcement has to do is suspect the property (cars, boats, houses, cash) was used in an illegal nature or obtained using outlaw funds to snag it without providing much recourse for its return. If you happen to be driving around with marijuana in a legal state, there is nothing to worry about as long as you are not in possession of more than what is permitted by law one or two ounces usually. However, in prohibition states, getting busted for pot possession during a roadside shakedown even for small amounts means there is a chance that your vehicle could be seized. Still have 18 payments to go before that new Camaro is paid off? It doesn't matter to the state. It's gone, and likely forever. Sure, you will get a forfeiture hearing at some point, which gives the defendant a chance to explain to a judge why they need their property back. And as with anything in life, sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't.

Do you feel lucky?

The police might want to search your vehicle.

Marijuana is becoming increasingly more legal in the United States, no doubt. But the herb is still considered an outlaw substance in most of the country. This means law enforcement, especially those bordering legal states and in those areas where prohibition continues to run rampant, are still harassing motorists in hopes of jamming them up for pot possession. But there are a few ways to keep the cops from snooping around in the event of a traffic stop. For starters, never smoke marijuana in the vehicle. All a cop has to do is catch a whiff of weed and a search is on. Not to mention there is always the possibility that you could catch one of those pesky DUIDs. Also, you are going to want to make sure that the car is clean (no fast food bags on the floor or anything). Keep all prescription drug bottles tucked away rather than stored up front. And if you must travel with weed in places where it is illegal, take edibles rather than flower. Again, if an officer even thinks he smells marijuana and they often claim to you could be sitting along the highway waiting for the drug-seeking hounds to be unleashed. There is a rule of thumb that some of the old-time pot smugglers liked to preach back in the day that still holds true. Break only one law at a time. If you're driving from Colorado to Kansas with weed in the trunk, you should probably obey the traffic laws to the letter. Otherwise, youre just asking for bad, bad things.

It is important to know your rights.

Always be polite and courteous, but know that police do not have the right to search your vehicle for no reason. This is protected under the Fourth Amendment. An officer must see or smell something to establish probable cause before he can get serious about initiating a search. But that doesn't stop them from making up their own rules some of the time. I once had a cop wanting to search my vehicle because he thought a McDonald's french fry was a joint. Yeah, police have a tendency to get creative when it comes to busting people for drugs. So, you have to be careful. Always tell probing police that you do not consent to searches. No matter how hard they press, stay consistent with your retort: "Sorry officer, I realize that you're just trying to do your job, but I do not consent to searches." If they suggest that your refusal to cooperate means you have something to hide, simply ask them if you are being detained or whether you're free to go. If they have a reason to hold you, theyll let you know. But keep your mouth shut from this point forward, as anything you say or do can and will be used against you in a court of law. If they say you are free to go, then get. And watch your driving so you dont encounter a similar incident on down the line. Just remember, you are totally within your Constitutional rights to refuse a search of your vehicle.

Perhaps a day will come when marijuana legalization is so prevalent that American citizens wont have to worry about getting busted for weed anymore. For now, though, law enforcement is still nailing more than 600,000 people to the wall for pot possession every year. Dont let yourself become a statistic, and make sure you arrive safe and sound at all of your family gatherings.

Gobble-Gobble, you Billion Dollar Babies!

Alice Cooper, here I come.

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Marijuana Travel Tips For Surviving The American Roadways This Holiday Season - Forbes