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So The Only Way Is Essex is back. Let's stop and think about this for a minute, has it actually been away? Well yes it did briefly vanish from our screens but you'd be forgiven for failing to realise this since the cast have managed to do their usual job of turning up to the opening of an envelope wherever possible (complete with perma-tans and dazzling teeth), falling out of nightclubs, squeezing themselves into tight frocks, crying noisily about their other halves on the front pages of tabloids...you get our drift.

And thus, this increasingly critic-proof show returned to screens for its seventh outing, the first without Lauren Goodger, but with all our other Essex favourites present and correct.

And it came as no surprise to anyone that the first episode had a heavy focus on Gemma and Arg and their barely-out-of-the-papers romance, one which apparently ended abruptly when he took off for Ibiza without her

This of course led to lots of scenes in which she stumbled around the neighbourhood trying to persuade anyone and everyone to spill the beans about his holiday shenanigans, while he confessed that a One Direction song had inspired him to end the relationship.

Yes, you heard correctly, while some of us take our wisdom and guidance from the world's great poets, philosophers and intellectuals, Arg is gleaning his from One Direction's Live While We're Young. Honestly, you couldn't make it up. And we're not sure we'd want to.

Still, not all of the episode was about wondering whether any of the Essex boys had a brain cell between them and whether or not they'd be dangerous if they did. Lucy's mind was firmly on weddings, which in TOWIE terms was an excuse for everyone to take off in a limo for a hastily organised 'hen night' before floating around in wedding dresses for the sole purpose of - well, floating around in wedding dresses really.

The likes of Mick, Diags and Bobby also turned up but none of their activities could really hold a candle to Arg's hilarious dim-wittedness so we'll just gloss over them for now.

In other words it was business as usual down Essex way then. But be honest, did you really expect any different?

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TOWIE's return offered moments of comedy gold - even if it didn't mean to