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My anger was caused by something much deeper than watermelons. You see, growing up in the United States, I've been culturally conditioned to see the world always through the suffocating prism of race. And it's not just me. This is a basic instinct for Americans of every race. No matter how much we say "everyone is equal," our government policies, our history and our daily social interactions betray this lie.

Without a second thought, I freeze with terror when I see a police officer -- in any country -- or wake up in a panic when I know that my son is driving home late. It often feels like there's no escape from this nightmare.

Calm down and breathe is what I told myself as I cleaned up those watermelon rinds. It's nothing. But generations of toxic cultural indoctrination do not die easily and even now, weeks later, I'm still trying to get over it and my suspicions about some of my expat neighbors, many of whom like me are from the United States and travel around the world towing their own racial baggage as white Americans.

This is what racism does to you. It scars you and dehumanizes us all. It makes us mistrust one another. And if you don't fight it every day, the hate will defeat you.

That remark cut as it was intended, she said. But Michelle urges us to acknowledge our pain, work to heal our wounds and hold on to our power at the same time.

She knows the path is not easy. The moment the Obamas stepped onto the national stage it was apparent that America just couldn't resist the ugly racial jabs, whether done in jest or with malice. And it's not just Twitter-crazed private citizens who've attacked.

The two were celebrating with a fist-bump standing beside a portrait of Osama bin Laden. As if black folks winning the White House was more horrifying than terrorists taking over our nation. The magazine called it satire, humor meant to make a mockery of all the racist stereotypes aimed at the Obamas. No black people I knew were laughing, though. We weren't liberal enough to get that joke.

In 2010, she launched Let's Move!, a project to fight childhood obesity by making school lunch programs healthier, encouraging exercise and promoting community gardening. Her Joining Forces project, launched with Jill Biden, supports veterans and their families with mental health, education and employment services.

Michelle understands that these days it's easy for young people, for all of us, to get discouraged by life -- especially people who look like her. And that our problems are much larger than name-calling or racist cartoons.

Still, like the former First Lady, I believe we have the power change lives. Michelle's refusal to let her humanity be stripped down by hatred is really the only hope for all of us. Because literally the chronic stress of racism is cutting our lives short.

I need look no further than my own family over the past three generations. Black women and men stood strong because they were never allowed to be weak. I've watched my relatives sacrifice their mental and physical health, internalizing their pain day after day. Those sacrifices cannot be in vain. But it's time we found a better way to manage our pain. We can practice self-care and still fight passionately for the full equality that has forever evaded us.

Michelle's ability to continuously rise above hate, to speak with love and compassion for all people is her true power -- it is not her Harvard degree, her title or her husband. She has found a way to acknowledge her pain without sacrificing her dignity or robbing others of their own.

She inspires me to join her on this journey.

Read more from the original source:
When racism cuts, Michelle Obama helps us heal - CNN