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Lets be honest: Candy hearts aside, Valentines Day is to lovers what Mothers Day is to fathers: One big giant shit-test. Also, if you think about it, between the roses and chocolate, its kind of presumptuous of all us cisgenders, to promote our gender-conforming gifts, and ignore the rest of the romantic needs of progressive America. Between exorbitant funds on behalf of a Hallmark holiday and acquiescing to, even celebrating, that one day of traditional gender norms, Im surprised Americans still fall, hook, line, and sinker for this commercial love-day.

On Valentines Day alone, lovers send 150 million cards the majority of senders are women. Folks, mostly men, spend $2 billion on flowers and a little less than that on sweets. Over half of Americans celebrate the holiday, spending $13 billion total. Thats a lot of money to ask someone to Be mine.

There are dozens of gift guides online to help the romantic lover figure out what to give that special someone. Take this Valentines Day gift guide for men, since they always get overlooked: It includes activewear for the gym-goer, designer shoes and socks, and a book of cocktail recipes. Because nothing says I love you like new gym shorts! What about for her? No longer is it enough to buy her roses or send her chocolate thats so 2014. Now, try specialized truffles, a candle with a slogan or a designer purse. Thats a lot of pressure for men and women to live up to. Its no wonder men are frantically googling gift ideas and ordering chocolate on Amazon Prime.

Valentines Day might be the only (commercial) holiday that suggests deep down the human psyche craves a few rather traditional things: Unconditional love and traditional gender roles, among other things. That sounds rather old-fashioned and yet healthy. Men and women are different and should celebrate those differences, not squash them. They should embrace their unique desires; not attempt to conform to a different gender, because its so en vogue.

Its almost like humans were designed with innate needs to be loved unconstitutionally and valued for who they are, which is something no progressive, political culture can squelch and no Hallmark holiday can drown out with calls of commercialism.

Still, the origin of this holiday had little to do with candy hearts, truffles, or roses. While nobody knows exactly how this traditional holiday began, some suggest its rooted in the story of one of three (or a blend of all three) Catholic saints who were martyred.

Stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first valentine greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girlpossibly his jailors daughter who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed From your Valentine, an expression that is still in use today.

As morbid as that might sound, and of course, who know if its true, theres actually a lot more gravitas about the real meaning of love in that anecdote than sending your lover a dozen red roses that cost as much as dinner out. Like St. Patricks Day, which began as a celebration of a man who tried to tell others about the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ, (and is now celebrated with green beer) the story of a Christian being martyred for his faith and sending his last thoughts to his love seems more authentic than any Hallmark card.

I probably sound like an old maid who is down on love and so scoffs at other lovers sharing their vivid romance. Not so! I studied British literature in college and my favorite novels are ones penned by romantic, strong women like Austen and Bronte (prosaic but true). Im a true romantic, through and through. (Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.) Lovers should express themselves however they deem best, but roses on Valentines Day wont save a romance, rekindle a friendship, or rescue a bitter relationship.

The story of the young Catholic saint reminds all of us that true love is sacrificial always patient, always kind and every day acts of kindness and selflessness do more than spending $200 one day a year. Thats something both genders crave and is as progressive as any other romantic notion on Valentines Day.

Nicole Russell is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in The Atlantic, The Federalist, The American Spectator, Reason, National Review Online, and Parents magazine. She was the 2010 recipient of the American Spectators Young Journalist award. She lives in Northern Virginia with her husband and four children.

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Why aren't progressives offended by Valentine's Day's gender stereotypes? - Conservative Review