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SALT LAKE CITY (ABC 4 News) - Experts say social networking sites have created relationships and destroyed them with the click of a key.

Social media sites are popular, especially Facebook, for connecting, and reconnecting. Andy Choy says it’s a good communication tool. “It's a good way to keep in touch with people you already know in person."

But Choy says it's not the best way to meet that special someone. He’s not alone. Most of the Utahns we spoke with this Valentines Day agree. Rachel Morris says there is no substitute for being face to face. “I like the old fashioned meeting them in person."

She says everything is not always as it appears online. Life coach, Lynette Williams agrees although she says online dating has led to successful relationships. "The face to face creates something, because you may get along great but when you meet them there's no chemistry. That's not the relationship you want.”

Williams says you have to be careful in the cyber relationship world, and that warning also holds true for those reconnecting. She says social media sites create a discreet environment where affairs can be kindled. “Like looking up an old flame or something like that; you want to be really careful, it's ok to say hi, but make sure your motives are you just want to say hi. "

She says anyone in a committed relationship should make it plain on Facebook and if your partner won't disclose their relationship in their social networking life, it might be a red flag.

Williams says another relationship red flag is disclosing too much. Nicole Licau says she’s seen it online. "People will like vent, kind of about “oh I can't believe”, and then they will direct statuses towards that person, and I’m like you could just say that to them directly. You don't have to post it to the whole world."

Williams says that kind of venting is extremely damaging. "All of the sudden you expand that whole conversation. You invite other people; in it may get twisted or turned and you might be in a place where you could forgive, and you would laugh about it afterwards, but other people don’t have that understanding or background.”

She reminds everyone, deleted or not, the message is permanent.

Williams says it's important to put your focus on the one you are with, and if there is something lacking there, do your best to rekindle the relationship. You can find more information on relationship coaching at http://www.lighthousepointcoaching.com

Excerpt from:
Social Networking can help and hurt relationships