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No doubt, this is partly because men often have the silliness of imaginary play hammered out of them through our process of maturity and the education system, and taught to focus on real stuff.

But mostly its because lets face it its a lot more fun to spend time doing an activity that you also like doing.

Some of the games kids love can be mind-numbingly dull (if youve ever been an active participant in an imaginary tea party for more than five minutes or played Snap 67 times in a row, youll know what Im talking about) and engaging in activities that are not inherently interesting to you is actually really hard. Repeating them over and over, as kids like to do, is harder still.

Then theres that weird phase children go through where they set and change the rules of the game. The changes to the rules occur roughly every five seconds. I have played games with Polly Pocket where everything I did was wrong.

But I have to remind myself that playing with my children is not about me and what I want. Its about my children and what they want.

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Ultimately the activity you do with your child is mostly irrelevant. What counts and what will be remembered is the time you're spending together.

After all, you dont play backyard cricket with your kids because youre a cricket fanatic. Its because you love your kids. And the same goes for any other activity that our kids are interested in no matter how uninteresting we find it.

Engaging in your childs play also helps them develop a strong and confident sense of themselves. Its showing them that the person they are, their innate strengths and interests, are valid and worthy. And that you love them just the way they are.

If you only involve yourself in the parts of your childs life that you personally like, the lesson to your child is that they are not lovable or interesting to you when they are their authentic self.

The holidays are an opportunity to let your child know that you want to spend time with them because you love them, not because you happen to like the same activity.

In years to come, your child is unlikely to remember what was in their Christmas stocking this year. But the time you spend with them, validating and loving who they are, will stay with them for a lifetime.

Christopher Scanlon is the co-author of a 2020 book on parenting girls.

Christopher Scanlon is a Melbourne writer and academic.

Read the original post:
Why I play the games my children want to play (even if they're boring) - The Age