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Board-certified real estate attorney Gary M. Singer answers housing questions in this space each Friday. To ask him a question about short sales, mortgages, refinancing, homeowner's associations or any other residential real estate topic, click here.

Q: My dad passed away four years ago and my mom was scraping by working at a department store until recently, when she had to stop due to an illness. Although my mother has good credit, we have been unable to refinance or lower the payment. It makes no sense because we keep hearing about all of the programs out there to help people. But it seems that there is nothing for someone who needs it the most. – Dave

A: Don't be so sure. There are many programs out there that can help reduce your loan payments. It comes down to four factors: math, persistence, luck and realistic expectations. By math, I mean that your income, bills, home value and mortgage must fit into one of your lender’s programs. As for persistence, many people get turned down two or three times before they get approved, so if you stop trying you’ll never get the relief you’re seeking. There is an element of luck involved in all of this. Did you randomly get a bank representative who will go the extra mile to help you, or the one who is in the middle of a divorce and hates his job? Finally, it’s important to have realistic expectations. I have seen many people turn down a terrific loan modification offer from the bank to wait it out for some magical solution that’s never going to happen.

You need to get an idea of what type of relief that you may qualify for, and see if that relief will work for you. For example, if you earn $700 a month in Social Security as your only form of income and you are trying to modify a $300,000 mortgage, it is highly unlikely that you are going to be offered a solution because the math just doesn’t work. If you earn $200,000 a year and are trying to modify your $190,000 mortgage, it’s doubtful that your lender is going to see things your way.

Q: Our mortgage is underwater and we would like to move out of the immediate area. I need some good advice. I'm reluctant to just pick up the phone an call anyone because I don't want to become a victim of a scam. Do I call a law firm? A real estate agent? A loan modification company? Who? – Hal

A: Call a lawyer experienced in dealing with struggling homeowners. He or she will help you figure out a strategy that may involve a short sale or a loan modification. Each person’s situation is unique and each situation should be dealt with individually. Do some Internet research to find out about lawyers in your area and then choose two or three to interview. Ask questions such as: How many cases have you handled similar to mine? Do you have any special training or certifications related to real estate law? You should also take to the appointment appropriate paperwork about your financial situation and your house. Bring proof of income for all wage earners, two years of tax returns, a recent mortgage statement, your tax bill, your insurance bill and any other paperwork that you think is pertinent to your individual case. Think about your goals. Attorneys are, by training, goal-oriented people, so tell the attorney about your goals so he or she can craft a custom plan that works for you. Bring reasonable expectations and a willingness to listen.

The information and materials on this blog are provided for general informational purposes only and are not intended to be legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is formed, nor should any such relationship be implied. Nothing on this blog is intended to substitute for the advice of an attorney, especially an attorney licensed in your jurisdiction.

To follow Gary Singer on Twitter, click here.

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