Calling all word nerds

If youre using an e-reader while enjoying a craft beer and dropping the occasional F-bomb, youre the very definition of modern times.

Merriam-Websters Collegiate Dictionary has unveiled the new words included in this years edition. Most are buzzwords everybody throws around but cant define. My friend the flexitarian said her dietary choices reached a tipping point when society became so obesogenic. It was a game changer.

My nine loyal readers may remember that at times like these I convene the Word Crimes Tribunal, which seeks to root out misuses of the English language. The trouble is, language isnt static: It evolves to describe a changing world. So, as much as we might like to lament seeing trendy catch phrases earn Merriam-Websters endorsement, our choices are like that of a rafter caught in a raging torrent: Go with the flow or be swept away.

New words are needed to describe new things. Thats why sexting, geocaching and energy drink will appear in the dictionary this year. But then there are annoyingly trendy terms that catch on and achieve such common usage that the wordsmiths at Merriam-Webster have little choice but to give in. The Word Crimes Tribunal would love to bury shovel-ready, but its hard to blame the word nerds for adding that oft-used term to the dictionary.

The real game changer among this years new terms, other than game changer, is F-bomb. The term was popularized in the 1990s by basketball coach Bobby Knight, who lobbed F-bombs with artistry, like a point guard deftly flicking an entry pass into the post. The term later went mainstream thanks to public use by Dick Cheney and Joe Biden. Apparently theres something about the vice presidency that moves a man to dabble in obscenity.

Perhaps the staff at Merriam-Webster can relate. No doubt theyve dropped a few F-bombs watching as the dictionary has struggled to remain relevant in the Internet age. Think about it: When is the last time you picked up a dictionary? Or a phone book? Oh, and that set of World Books on the shelf? Look under O for obsolete.

Still, whether in print or online, dictionaries are trying desperately to keep up with the times. Merriam-Webster and competitors such as Oxford University Press hustle to include new terms such as mash-up and cloud computing. This call to mind soccer moms indulging midlife crises by shopping at The Gap. Should we add life coach to the dictionary so that we appear hip? And also, do these skinny jeans make my butt look big?

This years additions also include man cave, brain cramp and bucket list. Also new to this years dictionary are the Oprah Winfrey-inspired aha moment and the Stephen King-popularized earworm, which refers to a song you cant get out of your head. If you dont think new words are serious business, consider that when Mutual of Omaha tried to use aha moment, Oprah sued. The case was settled out of court. Perhaps when it considered the wisdom of engaging in battle with the worlds richest woman, Mutual of Omaha had an aha moment.

Sometimes I feel like convening the Word Crimes Tribunal and casting judgment against such newfangled vernacular. I like to think of the dictionary as a gated community designed to keep out the riffraff.

But then I remember that part of our languages charm is its grassroots populism. If the use of a word, even a misuse, grows common enough, eventually itll become accepted. Anyone who regularly visits Facebook can see its only a matter of time before your becomes accepted as an alternative to youre. Also, you can look for irregardless to become officially synonymous with regardless any day now.

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Calling all word nerds

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