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Predicting the future is a thankless task just ask the Mayans, who were inclined to doubt whether newspapers beyond 21 December were strictly necessary. 2013 should, by rights, be a hangover sporting year, since the Olympic flame has guttered and died, but it might be worth hanging on for.

Subject to the usual terms and conditions (the value of your emotional investment can go up or down) these are the potential highlights of the next 12 months:

January

Andy Murray wins the Australian Open in another classic five-set final against Novak Djokovic. The Lawn Tennis Association buy the Robinson's Barley franchise and promote themselves as the Scot's "performance partner". Arsne Wenger is co-opted on to the Bank of England's monetary policy committee, who raise interest rates to 15 per cent. Kanu is among 13 players bought by Harry Redknapp before the transfer window closes.

February

Roman Abramovich offers Neymar 400,000 a week, the governorship of Chukotka and a timeshare on his superyacht after he scores four of Brazil's six goals against England at Wembley. Rafa Benitez is sacked as Chelsea can only beat Bradford City 7-0 in the final of the League Cup. He is replaced by Bobby Campbell, who last managed the club in 1991. Alan Curbishley, the initial favourite for the job, refuses to undergo an interview.

March

The Premier League respond to the failure of UK teams to reach the Champions' League quarter-finals by announcing a series of 39 knock-out matches across Asia. The Three Wise Monkeys Trophy, sponsored by Thaksin Shinawatra, will become an annual event. Wales take the wooden spoon in rugby union's Six Nations' Championship after being beaten 36-11 by England. The Wales coach, Warren Gatland, resigns, but keeps his British and Irish Lions job despite having signed a pre-contract agreement with the Queensland Reds.

April

Ian Poulter wins the Masters by five shots, and launches the Lime Green tie-dye range of replica jackets. The Abu Dhabi Tourist Authority buy Sir Alex Ferguson Inc for 150 million and unveil the Scot as Manchester City's new "executive consultant strategist". Uefa say this respects the spirit of their Financial Fair Play rules. Michel Platini conducts the press conference in a cryogenic chamber to promote his vision of a Winter World Cup in 2020.

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